The man’s hand was twitching and he didn’t seem to know. He was staring ahead, sitting on the bed Cara was supposed to sit on while Cara sat on the floor, cradling teddy and doll in her lap. She was afraid to set them on the floor, thought they might disappear, though she wasn’t quite sure how she had come to that conclusion. It didn’t matter, she just knew that the darkness outside had a way of seeping in through the walls, the floor. Nowhere was safe on this side of the forest, not even the people were safe. Because Cara knew what it was now, that thing that had scared her when she first saw the man, that feeling that something was seeping in, something cold that made her want to crawl back in the darkness under the stairs.
They were cold. The people, not just the man, but Martha also, and the old man at the back who’d thought maybe Cara couldn’t speak. They were sick, though how sick Cara didn’t know. Just that there was something wrong in them and that she didn’t like being here, she wanted to go, to run, to get away from here and back to the house, back to anywhere as long as these people couldn’t find her.
But the man knew nanny and nanny didn’t seem to have the power to stop him, so going back to the house would be no good. She would’ve liked to tell this stranger. Even though he was one of them, he seemed to be in trouble just now, he seemed scared, like he was waiting for something he already knew would happen.
Maybe he didn’t want the twenty-four hours to end either.
Cara was hungry, but she didn’t know how to tell this man she was hungry. They didn’t want her to speak, that much was clear. It had been there, in the old man’s vicious eyes when he’d made his accusations. He wanted her to speak, to cry out that she could in fact talk, as if that would prove some sick point he was trying to make. Maybe if she talked, they wouldn’t even wait for the twenty-four hours to pass, and then what?
She’d never had to ask for food before. At the house, there were strict rules, there was order, there was a schedule to be followed, day in and day out. When Cara would come inside, nanny would go and cook, although she could’ve cooked while Cara was outside, it wasn’t like she would go anywhere, like she needed a guard. But that didn’t matter now, she reminded herself. She had to pull herself back into this dull, lifeless world and she found it harder with each passing breath. It was easy to slip into her old mind, into dreams about the old house, about nanny, about her life and how she’d thought her life would always be, before this stranger came knocking on their door and took Cara away.
But here she was now. No sense in dwelling on what might have been. No sense in dwelling on what never was. Because the man’s hand was twitching and he was trying to tell her something.
And Cara stared, waiting for him to speak, hoping he would notice her looking and he did. He looked up slowly at her, eyes tracing the girl’s thin lips, her dark hair, and her eyes that seemed to be asking him silent questions.
‘I hope I’m not wrong. About you. I hope to God I’m not wrong, but I don’t know now. Maybe you can speak after all. Not your nanny, she wouldn’t so blatantly break the rules. But maybe the boy, maybe it slipped out of him. I told them, I did. I told them it wouldn’t be a good idea to allow him there, he was too much of the outside world and you can’t really trust people like him, anyways. What does he know what’s at stake here? What could he possibly understand? I’m not saying it’s your fault, though, Cara,’ and his voice seemed to soften just then. ‘You could...do something. I mean, you wouldn’t have to tell me, if he did speak to you and he wouldn’t be in trouble, I promise. I just have to know. We couldn’t touch him if we wanted to. We don’t even know where he is. And it wouldn’t matter anyway.’
And the man got up off the bed just then and came and sat really close to Cara. His hand wasn’t twitching anymore, but he was even more scared now, and he starting speaking really quietly to her, leaning in as he spoke and it still wasn’t enough for Cara to hear properly.
‘I need to know if you can speak. Would you put your teddy on the floor if you can speak? I won’t tell anyone, I promise. I just need to...if I’m wrong about this, Cara, I need a few hours to prepare. For both of us. Because you’ll be in a lot of trouble if I’m wrong, I need to find a way to get us out of this.’
But he was lying, Cara felt certain. He had no intention of getting Cara out of anything, though she didn’t even see what the trouble was. He was only interested in saving himself, because he’d lied. Or maybe he hadn’t lied, but he had told an un-truth. Cara closed her eyes and saw the man, though something was different about him in her eyes. It wasn’t so much that he was younger, although that was true also, but that he was less dead, there was still color in his flesh, even though it was dying. And in her mind, she saw the man breathing, scared of something, of his own terrible beast in the woods perhaps, she listened as he made promises though she couldn’t make out the words. He was promising something to people and she recognized, among the crowd, the old man and the woman and the other man and Martha. But there was light setting behind them and suddenly, she knew what was different. There was light in her head, there was a sun that existed behind them and they listened desperately to the promises this man made. And they agreed, but their agreement was dangerous. It was something they could always take away and the man had known that.
And maybe that’s what had happened just now, maybe they’d stopped agreeing with him and that’s why they’d sent him to get Cara now, because they’d changed their minds. And their minds had something to do with Cara. Somehow.
‘Cara.’
She opened her eyes to this older, stranger man staring at her, almost begging her to drop teddy on the cold floor, to tell him that yes, he’d been wrong, that she could speak and that she was sorry and could he please save her from all this trouble that was coming her way?
But he wouldn’t save her, and besides, she would never do that to teddy, because once the darkness got into you, it could never get out. Never. She saw that from the way these people moved, how they talked to one another and how this dead man’s hand twitched. There was no saving from what had happened to them. But they believed there was. Now, only if she could understand why they thought it would be anything to do with her.
She pulled doll and teddy tighter to her, desperate all of a sudden to feel them against her skin, to feel safe again.
The man bit his lip and nodded. he’d expected just such a thing.
‘I thought our guest would like some food.’
Neither of them had heard the door open behind them, but there she was. Not Martha, but the other woman with light hair and skin that had once been beautiful. But now she looked like she was suffering, too. Like there were horrible worms trying to claw their way through her face. And she tried to hide that, the red spots like volcanoes blighting her skin, she tried to seem perfect and the others tried to see her as such.
She was carrying a white tray with two dark bowls on it, but when she came closer and set the tray before Cara, the girl saw there was nothing there but dirt. And she wondered if this was some strange joke, maybe they were trying to scare her, maybe they thought that if they kept her hungry, she would eventually speak. She looked into the bowl of earth and shook her head.
‘Alright, well, I’ll leave this here, in case you change your mind.’
But the smile had disappeared from the woman’s lips and when Cara looked over at the man, she saw that he too was watching in disgust and at first, she thought it was because he’d seen the dirt and he understood how wrong this was. But he didn’t.
And she realized that they were both, in fact, disgusted with her. Because they knew why she wouldn’t eat their food, they knew she saw dirt in their bowls. And it occurred to her that they did not.
to be continued...