Earlier, I got the strangest impulse. I'd just done my nails and I had this feeling that I should put on my ring. It's not new, it's not particularly pretty, it's just a simple, engagement-type ring. Although not from an engagement. Still, I couldn't help but feel weirded out at this feeling. Why?
Because I wasn't about to do anything special, I wasn't going anywhere. I was just going to start writing a story. In my room, alone. And yet, I had this feeling that it would be much much better if I put the ring on.
And then I thought, maybe I would, maybe I would write better if I put the ring on, just 'cause I love how it looks on my finger, especially with silvery nails. I know, it sounds like a silly idea and I was just as eager to dismiss it, but then I got to thinking. Maybe there is something more to it.
After all, aren't we better performers when we feel confident? And don't most of us feel more confident when we like how we look?
It makes sense if you think about it. A great many times, we find ourselves confronted by fear, misgivings, by doubt. We've all had a moment when we're walking down the street and we have a feeling everyone's staring at us, in the bad way, that we're being judged and that we're somehow failing. We've all had that one time (more like a hundred) when we see someone gorgeous walk down the street and thought we don't quite measure up.
It's funny when you're not happy with how you look, it's like your body turning on itself. Worse, it's like your mind is turning on you, putting all these nasty little comments in, just because you're unhappy. Let's face it, when you think you look like shit, basically nothing seems to go right.
And here come into play the little things – the makeup and the perfumes, that little black dress and the hair-curler. The earrings and the rings, everything. And with each one, you get to feel a little bit better about yourself. You paint your face and all of a sudden, you're not that lousy sweat-pants chick whose face you hate. You're the chick little lady walking down the street and it's all in a few brush strokes, a shiny pair of earrings and a skirt.
It's amazing, but it makes a huge difference.
When you see your hair looks great, it's like you're a whole new person, you're ready to do anything.
See, men (and even some women) seem to think that women have all this stuff to attract them, to look hot and desirable. But there's so much more to it than that. Women don't do their hair to attract or to look good. That's not why we paint our lips and tint our eyelids in gold. And it's most certainly not why we wear that sweet short skirt.
Although attraction does play a part in it, it's not essential. I mean sure, it's great to know that people stare after you, it's great to be wanted and that makes you feel good, but I honestly think it's not what makes the experience so enjoyable.
Think about it. Because the feel-good experience starts way before we get out of our house. It starts the moment we stare at ourselves in the window. In that moment, when you see your 'done' face in the mirror and the outfit looks great and the hair's just smashing, you're filled with a thrill. And it's the same thrill you get when you see someone beautiful walk down the street. You know, that moment when you go 'myyy'? That's it, and it's about you.
And it feels good. You're looking in the mirror and you know that nobody can judge you, nobody can stare you down, because you know there's nothing wrong with you. You're on top of the world.
And that day, you kick ass, you get the job, you charm the pants off that hot guy, you do anything and everything you set out to do. All because you you liked the person you saw in the mirror that morning, all because you're confident.
And it's that confidence that draws people's eyes to you. That's what makes you sexy, that's what makes people stare after you, it's not the good hair or the short skirt, or rather it's not just that. It's the air of 'I can take on the world' that hangs about you. And why does that charm people?
Because most of are generally weak, self-conscious and afraid. We love confidence in someone because it makes us feel like we could be confident also. Like we too could take on the world.
And it feels wrong, writing this, maintaining that confidence and the conquering of the world depends on one silly thing like make-up. You feel the need to say 'but surely confidence shouldn't be about that'. And you're right, maybe, maybe your confidence shouldn't come from the fact that you look great, but it does. Usually.
You rarely see great looking people who are moping around. Unless they've had their heart broken, of course, which is a whole different deal. Even then, it's somehow better to get your heart broken in a fabulous dress than in pyjamas. You feel vulnerable in your pj's.
And maybe confidence should come from the fact that you look great. Why the hell not?If that's not gonna make you feel good, what is?
It's normal. And it's great and you should enjoy it.
Of course, confidence should come from within, you should at some point be able to stand in your sweatpants, with disheveled hair and know you can take on the world, but that doesn't happen very often. To many, it doesn't happen at all, so they need a little push.
Or shall I say a little blush?
