A few posts back I wrote for singles to find a mate. In that post I said the following:
YOU JUST DON'T MEET YOUR SOULMATE
Note that I am not using the term soulmate as I don't really believe in soulmates. I do believe in true love, but to believe that somewhere on the earth there is another person that will fit you like a glove and complete you, in my opinion, is wishful thinking and unrealistic. This may be the reason why lots of single people struggle to find a life-partner. Along with this belief of soulmates also goes the belief that you will find each other some magical way or other. That will also not happen. If you are looking for someone to spend your life with, you have to make it happen! If you find someone and you work through the process your "in love" will turn into "true love" if you are 100% committed to making it work!
BUT YOU CAN BECOME SOULMATES
So in researching, I found that there is another idea and that is that you have to become "soulmates". You don't meet your soulmate, but you and your partner or spouse can become soulmates. It is a dream that you should have to become soulmates but it won't just happen. For you to discover that magical place where you anticipate your mate's needs, relish his or her company, and consider loving your spouse a privilege, you must rid yourself of distractions.
Becoming soulmates requires singularity of purpose and a commitment to do some "housecleaning" in yourself and sweep away and distractions from your quest.
LETS LOOK AT SOME DISTRACTIONS TO THE PURSUIT OF BEING A SOULMATE.
- LACK OF INSPIRATION
Believe it or not some people just don't think about being a soulmate. They lack inspiration and they fall into a mediocre marriage much like one settles into a long-term uninspiring job. They show up every day and they persevere but there is no passion or song in their hearts.
In his book, Finding Ever After, Robert Paul explains the importance of inspiration.
When we originally took hold of our dreams - for life, for marriage, forever - deep inside us was a divinely placed longing to be dynamic (not static), active (not passive), changing (not stagnant). We were made to be energized and vital. In a word, God created us with the desire, the passion, to be inspired.
Unfortunately, too many couples accept mediocrity. They lose the vision for a vital and energized marriage. Soulmates, on the other hand, know how to maintain vitality in their marriage and will settle for nothing less.
- LACK OF VISION
Closely related to a lack of inspiration is a lack of vision. Hopefully, by now, you realize that there is a vast difference between a marriage and a soulmate marriage. Until you do you're not likely to push for more. How can you develop vision if you never had it? How can you imagine greater possibilities if you have settled for a lot less for a long time? The answer, I believe, lies within you. Solomon said "He has planted eternity in the human heart (Ecclesiastes 3:11) God placed in our hearts the desire for what He desires - and God desires that our marriages be places of abundance.
Do you have a vision for something more in your relationship? If not how might you create a new vision? An easy way is to begin to watch other couples in love and determine how to incorporate some of those actions and attitudes into your marriage. See how other couples hold hands, others are laughing obviously sharing a memory, stealing a kiss in the restaurant. Examples of creating a vision for your marriage are all around.
Next post continues with distractions that will keep you from becoming soulmates.
IF YOU DON'T INTENTIONALLY SET OUT TO BECOME SOUL MATES, IT'S UNLIKELY TO HAPPEN!
Source: 90 Days to a fantastic marriage. Dr. Daid Hawkins. Tyndale House Publishers.
Images: Freepik.com
Thank you for reading, may you succeed in making your mate, a soulmate.
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