It is important to know how to develop self-esteem, as this improves one’s ability to be happy. Self-esteem development comes from two basic sources: persons we interact with and ourselves.
Messages from people close to us, even incidental comments and non-verbal indicators, constantly shape our self-esteem. Here are a few pieces of advice to enhance a balanced development of self-esteem in others:
- Emphasis positive features in other: Words of approval for the correct actions of others can enhance self-esteem. Praise and congratulations (which must be true and well earned) do not only contribute to the self-esteem of the recipient, but also of the one who offers them.
- Recognize the special needs of everyone: there are significant differences among people, especially between man and women. For example, men appreciate positive comment about their professional ability and their character traits, and they hope for demonstrations of respect.
On the other hand, women welcome demonstrations of affection and comments on their looks, tact, and sensitivity. Of course, there are always exceptions. - Do not joke with or mock the other person: Those inclined to low self-esteem suffer greatly when others tease them. Try to joke only with those who know how to take it.
- Provide family support: Feeling loved and accepted by family members anchors one’s esteem and smooths out many self-concept deficiencies. Having children contributes (especially in women) to a favorable feeling leading to healthy self-esteem.
- Ask for forgiveness when appropriate: If the opponent feels offended, his/her self-esteem will suffer.
Self-esteem may also be enhanced on a personal level. Try the following suggestions to help yourself develop self-esteem: - Keep fit and healthy: Sports and diet benefits health and makes you feel well with yourself.
- Look at your strong and positive features: Do not forget your personal achievements and be aware of the areas that need improvement.
- Be in control of your thoughts: Stop and reject self-depreciating mental messages. Think rationally of yourself.
- Forgive yourself: Do not continuously blame yourself for the past mistakes or problems that you may have caused others, especially if you have already taken appropriate steps to resolve them.
- Find support in your family: As seen before, good family relationships provide the ideal context in which to grow and develop a healthy self-esteem.
- Choose your friends: Avoid those given to criticize others and make friends with those who are positive and affirming to their neighbors.
- Revive your success: List your past achievements and reflect on them. Read your list often and review it once in a while.
- Nourish the spiritual dimension: God cares for you. Even if everyone rejects you, God does not. The Bible calls those who accept God and his salvation ‘chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God’ (I peter 2:9).
Note: Although low self-esteem affects many people, an exaggerated concept of oneself is a danger that can become pathological. If you have the tendency to overestimate your abilities, decide to follow the advice of the apostle Paul: ‘Do not be arrogant’ (Rom 11:20).
by: E. A. Benard