Two weeks ago, all I felt was sadness. I can’t believe that more than three years of efforts just went into a snap. If you were also in my position, you would feel the same sadness. I can’t believe that I sacrificed my momentum as a TikTok affiliate and my career for it. Then in the end, it all felt fucking worthless. Yes, I was sad, but I couldn’t just stay depressed like that. Even though two weeks have passed, I still feel angry towards it. Here are the notable songs I listened to while I was madly emotional. You may read that article first if you want to know what this is all about, LOL.

Olivia Rodrigo - good 4 u

This is the first song I played while I felt angry toward someone. Technically, this song is about her partner moving on easily without thinking much about her. In that sense, I also feel that way since a school authority made a terrible decision without considering how I feel. Take note that they remained firm in her stance even though they were the reason why we didn’t comply immediately. If you analyze the situation, they made that decision carelessly and moved on. They don’t care about how O feel or anything.

The lyrics from the third single of my favorite album hit me since we experienced something similar. Not in a romantic way, but in how someone can just move on after subtly hurting you. I relate to the chorus because after making that decision, she remains happy and fine. Meanwhile, me? That decision will haunt me for the rest of my life. I lost my mind thinking about why it happened. I even cried in my bedroom while singing my heart out.

In addition, Olivia sang in the bridge:

Maybe I'm too emotional
But your apathy's like a wound in salt
Maybe I'm too emotional
Or maybe you never cared at all

It relates to me because I also feel emotional about what happened. She didn’t care about how it would affect me at all.

Olivia Rodrigo - all-american bitch

This is the second song I played while feeling angry. I was done listening to sad songs, so I switched to rage music. The entire song doesn’t fully relate to me, but the vibe and some parts hit hard.

Forgive, and I forget
I know my age and I act like it
Got what you can't resist
I'm a perfect all-American

After what happened, I just want to forgive and forget. For others, losing that title due to their negligence may seem like something small. But as someone who started working early while juggling school, I know how much it matters.

I don't get angry when I'm pissed
I'm the eternal optimist
I scream inside to deal with it, like, "Ah"
Like, "Ah"

I remember screaming my heart out while singing this part—literally. I did it while overwhelmed with emotions. When my professor told me what happened, I didn’t say a word. I freezed for a moment. But in my head, I just wanted to crash into something. Of course, I didn’t do that. I stayed optimistic that I could overcome it, even it broke my heart into pieces.

Taylor Swift - Picture to Burn

While searching for angry songs on Spotify, I found this one. The track is about young Taylor’s anger toward someone who wasted her time. And of course, I felt the same way. While being emotional, I told my mom that I regret focusing more on school instead of growing my career. My efforts feels like a waste, being at the top of the class but still losing because of someone else’s negligence. Unfortunately, I ended up becoming a victim of a flawed system.

Honourable Mentions

Katy Perry - Part of Me

I realized late that this also represents what I feel, even though I didn’t listen to it mainly while moving on.

Taylor Swift - I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

This is not an angry song, but more of a moving-on anthem. It reminds me that I can still move forward while carrying everything.

Taylor Swift - thanK you aIMee

I’m not a fan of this song, but I realized it represents my situation with the Dean. She’s the one who didn’t approve my professor’s appeal for my Latin Honors. Coincidentally, her name sounds similar to Aimee. If you’re a die-hard Swiftie, you know this song isn’t really about Aimee—it’s about Kim Kardashian, LOL. But from my perspective, it still feels like a jab towards Aimee (a.k.a. Aemee) HAHAHAHHA.

Thank you for reading.