"She is very shy and skinny too".
Above was the remark my class teacher always made in my report card. Is being skinny has anything to do with academic results? I wondered. But I was no. 1 in class.
Yearly without fail - that remark - and that only proved I was skinny. It gradually caused my parents to worry because on top of that I was looking yellowish and pale too. Some called it fair. But as far as a young child was concerned, people termed it as "not looking healthy - no pinkish color - pale".
I lived with these comments since young. Therefore I had no issues in overeating. Meaning, I could overeat and not becoming fatter.
And so I thought that would be my fate forever. But my destiny with 'being skinny' parted ever since I reached puberty. I notice not only my chest grew but the butt and thigh and upper arm grew too.
And then people start to comment "You have grown fatter."
I grew even more after I gave birth. You know the hormone, it sort of opened up your ligament and it stayed that way. From XS size to S size to L and then the XL.
I realise people will never stop commenting. People can talk about anything under the sun. And I gotto be comfortable with who I am, regardless of my size. Yes, for health purpose I would not want to be obese and for confidence purpose I would want to be fitter, but whether fat or thin should not determine my joy meter.
I want to be happy with who I am and how I carry myself as woman. It is not healthy if I keep compare myself with other supermodels or with Wonder Woman (Oh I love Gal Gadot). It is tiring for the ears of my husband if I kept saying "Oh no I am so fat" everyday.
Now, I successfully maintain myself at L size and I am comfortable with that. Although with a little more diligence I still have some fats to shed. However with those fats, I confidently tell my children that I have muscular arm to carry them and to protect them from nasty people. And I have huge thigh to kick away bad guys. Lol.
Big or small, tall or short, it doesn't matter, as long as my body, mind, heart and emotion is healthy. And stay happy always. Be blessed!
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