Helpless. We all reach that point before. Maybe not now, but at some juncture of life we might feel helpless. It always come without us inviting. Situations, challenges and obstacles in life perpetually checked in without giving us the life manual what to do next. Helpless.
I had never been so helpless in my life until I faced the devastating news that my son in the womb was sick. Ironically, your inside was yelling for help but your outer countenance was as cool as a calm sea. I never knew how to show a helpless face, until I reached home to where my terebinth tree was - my toilet - then I started pouring out all my anguish and pain and helplessness to God.
In those moments, I find I gain strength and grace to carry on. That my life is not just about me. That life goes on because you are not the only one helpless. Subsequently, I will look forward to how God will lead me on a daily basis. My son has turned 4 years old and I am better with just occasional bouts of helplessness and hopelessness. You know, feelings love to play around. But faith in God is my anchor.
Everytime I walk down the street or driving around the town, I could not avoid noticing many helpless people. Some are miserably obvious by their outward appearance you know at first glance that they feel helpless. Some are like me, properly dressed with good manners but somehow are struggling inside. We still need to run the race of life and run it good, right?
As a mother, I learn I play an important role to pick up my sons when they are helpless. Sometimes I am as equally helpless as them so we all end up crying. Yes! I know, what a scene right? A huge baby crying together with two younger babies? But that was what we did. Then we hugged, we apologised, we exchanged kisses and we prayed. Because I told them sometimes mummy also know nothing.
But I vow to be more powerful so that I can be that sponge to absorb their frustration and their strong feelings. Usually, I am not sure, mother will get it more from the sons. They go to the mother, and lash everything out, and hoping the mother would absorb the helplessness and help them pick up and turn them to strength. That is why I always ask God to teach me to be powerful so that in their helplessness I can help them. Instead of joining the party, I want to turn them to hero. A giant slasher. Well, see how it goes. Every parents try their best.
I think in every helplessness, there is a tunnel for hope. Just like the saying goes, in every dark alley, there is always light in the end. Or the famous quote "there is a will, there is a way."
Do not give up yet. Speak to you another time. Cheers
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