One could say it takes an understanding of three concepts to properly play the game of life.
Those three concepts are:
- Strategy, and an understanding of how your choices and actions effect both you and those around you.
- Experience, and an understanding of how you can use said experiences to further develop your perception of the world and your place within it.
- Perseverance, and an understanding that you only lose the game when you actively stop playing it.
Now, to say these three concepts completely quantify life and all of its nuances would be a stretch. Life is a big, complex thing that people have been trying to figure out since.. well, since there have been people. Nonetheless, these are some pretty good rulers to measure yourself against when you feel like you’re stuck in a plateau and need to move on to the “next level” of your life in order to continue your growth.
Strategy: You Make the Rules, and Everything Begins and Ends With You
I’m sure someone has probably shared with you the following phrase at least once in your life:
“The world doesn’t revolve around you.”
And I’m here to tell you that they’re wrong and that the world absolutely does revolve around you.
I’m not telling you that you are the most important individual on the planet Earth. I’m not telling you that all of civilization and its people are here for the sole purpose of making you your favorite foods and rallying to celebrate parades in your honor. Because as nice as that sounds, nobody has time for all of that.
It sure would be fun though..
What I am telling you is that your world, i.e the unique experience given to you and only you by your five physical senses, absolutely does revolve around you. The only one that ever can and ever will experience your life from your perspective is you.
This is where your understanding of strategy comes into play.
Strategy is nothing more than leveraging your choices and actions to your benefit. It’s your capability to be deliberate in the things you say and do so that they work for you rather than against you.
Cultivating your strategic thinking becomes much easier when you realize two things:
- When it comes to your world, only you make the rules. You can do whatever you so choose to do. Every social construct that exists, every societal norm we follow was a rule that was made up by somebody else, and you have the freedom to choose whether or not you want to abide by those same rules. Of course you need to keep in mind the consequences your actions will invoke (as people’s personal worlds inevitably overlap) but this is exactly where strategic thinking comes into play.
- Your life and the way in which you experience it can only be determined by you. All things you desire, all things that you detest, all things that you stand for, and all things that you stand against, they all begin and end with you. You have the control and the capability to manipulate and change your thoughts, emotions, and circumstances to better suit you. The more you’re able to realize this, the more control you’ll have over your reality and the way in which you experience it.
Understand that life will continuously and consistently throw problems your way, and that your capacity to be strategic and active against those problems is what will be the difference in whether or not you overcome the hardships of life or allow them to overcome you.
Experience: What You Choose and What You Do is Who You Become
I think Heraclitus, the pre-Scoratic Greek Philosopher, put it extremely well:
“The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become.” — Heraclitus
Your life is very much the sum total of its parts. Your thoughts influence your words, which in turn influence your actions, which finally influence your life and reality. The things you choose to spend your time on, the people you choose to spend your time with, and the actions you take as a result determine the outcome of your life more than almost anything else.
This all boils down to your experiences. The experiences you’ve had since the day you were born have built up, one on top of the other, to define who you are in this present moment. If you seek change in your self, your life, and your circumstance, then you must begin to change your experiences.
Your comfort zone is your worst enemy when it comes to doing this. Humans by nature don’t like discomfort, and we will almost always default to what is more comfortable rather than what is best for us. Thats why people often stay trapped in abusive relationships or less than ideal circumstances; it’s usually less a matter of incapability to change things and more a matter of familiraity. They have adjusted to their toxic situation, which has led them to becoming, in some twisted way, comfortable with it.
You have to learn to recognize when you are falling into stagnation, when your habits are becoming detrimental, or when what may be comfortable might not be whats best for you. When you’re able to do so, you’ll gain far more control over yourself and your life.
Honing your thoughts and mitigating your negative self talk is a great way to go about this. Begin to meditate, exercise, and purposely try things that make you feel uncomfortable. This doesn’t have to be over the top either, simply deciding to take a walk when you usually wouldn’t or taking a right instead of a left on your daily commute is a great way to begin changing things up. Like anything else in life, you begin gradually and work your way up to bigger and better leaps, giving yourself greater life satisfaction and more self assurance as you do so.
Perseverance: The Significance of a Little Each Day
So lets say you’ve taken care of all of the above. You’ve started making better choices and thinking more strategically, and this has inevitably resulted in you becoming more acquainted with leaving your comfort zone and giving yourself better experiences.
The key, now, is to keep doing it. Every day. Little by little.
Do you know why great people become great? It’s because they chose to do a little more of what they should do, and a little less of what they shouldn’t do, every single day. That’s it, the entire secret to success in a nutshell.
Start by asking yourself one simple question:
“Am I going to mindlessely surf the internet and watch netflix or do X today?”
Fill in X with whatever it is you’re passionate about, love to do, or what you feel will make you a better person, and the answer should become clear. If you do something over a long period of time, you’ll get better at doing it. It’s so stupidly simple, and yet we always underestimate how far a little bit can really go.
Even spending as little as 20 minutes on something each and every day is enough to make a significant difference in your ability to do that something. That’s an extra 121 hours of practice a year, or 5 straight days of practice. That might not seem like much, but bump that 20 minutes up to an hour or two, and do that for 5+ years instead of just 1 and if you haven’t become great at that something already, you’re certainly well on your way to be.
So much of the anxiety and pressure we put on ourselves when it comes to accomplishing our goals can be alleviated by focusing on the proccess rather than the goal itself, we just can’t want an immediate result. We expect we should feel like we’re constantly learning, constantly getting better, and when we don’t feel that way (even though, in practice, we are) it discourages us and makes us procrastinate. But most of our advancement is subconcious and unapparent right away, but as long as you just do it, the skills you’ve harnesed will become abundantly apparent in time.
Don’t make me call Shia.
Stick to these principals, incorporate them into your daily routine, and things will begin running much more smoothly. You’ll never be without problems and short comings, but those very problems and short comings are exactly whats needed to take your life to the next level.
So overcome them. You’ll be glad that you did.