Hi, guys!
Yesterday I wrote a post about how I teach myself to feel better, and today I want to continue this theme. As I said before my husband is on a business trip at the moment, so I'm at home alone, and I had a really productive day. Damn, I really made a lot!
First of all, I drew a painting I planned for years. Well, not the painting exactly, but I had a huge canvas for something special for over two years. It was standing near the wardrobe, cause there was no other place where it could fit, and time to time it fell down and blocked the door. But I felt like I'm not good enough to draw on such big and expensive canvas, so I waited. Then, all of a sudden I thought... Damn, perhaps I'll never feel good enough if I will think like this! So I just drew Tardis, I wished it for my bedroom, and I love the result. Is it good or bad - that doesn't actually matter. What matters is that I recieved pleasure from the process, and that I, I AM happy with the result.
I also painted a plant pot, and I also posted it today. And also I did a lot of things to make my home more cozy. For example I created a special box for crickets, so they are not visible anymore. I need to have food for my lizards, but that doesn't mean that I have to watch at them while watching movie and having tea on my couch, right?
Yesterday I had a sleepless night. I always know what that means. If I can't sleep even with my pills that mean that (again, despite the pills) my bipolar disorder is switching it's phase. I thought I would turn to hypomanic, but now I understand that I definitely turned to depressive phase. And here I really need tell about how I feel and how I felt earlier.
My depressive episodes before I started therapy were horrible. May be one day I will write something about them, but at the moment I don't want to trigger myself. I love the quote I once read that describes depressive phase: "It feels like everybody you knew died and you already don't cry".
Now I combine medical therapy with my personal researches about what can make me more stable and happy. And you know, I have my results, I really have them. Even if I switch to depressive phase I still an quite stable. About 60% more stable, then I have been before.
That's a result, it really is. When I'll start my video blog I will make a video about my tips, it will be easier for me to talk about that then to write:)
I wish you all the best and will be happy if you'll support me with vote:)
Love, Inber