Hi Community,

It's me again. Today, I'd like to share a very personal story with you.

From rags to riches

(This and all following pictures were taken from pixabay)

After my vocational education as a multilingual administrative assistant, I firstly had no idea what to do with my life. I wrote a few applications and I was lucky, about four weeks after finishing my training I was employed by an agency for temporary work.
I do not know how this business model is seen in other countries, but in Germany, its reputation is a very bad one. Temporary workers are often exploited, there are many companies firing their employees just to re-hire them via temp agencies.

In my case, working for this agency was the best that could have happened to me. My first position was in the PR department of a very well-known manufacturer of pencils and pens, it was a very interesting job and I very much enjoyed working there. A few weeks later, things became even better: I had the opportunity to work for the company that is responsible for the International Toy Fair, the biggest fair in the toy branch worldwide, taking place once a year in Nuremberg.
I worked very hard, sometimes 16 hours a day, but still I was delighted every morning that I was allowed to go to work there, to help preparing the Toy Fair in 2008.
Unfortunately, they did not have a 'regular' position for me, so I had to leave the company after the fair was over.

My next stop was at a company located a few meters away from the place where I lived - and this time, I was hired. It was a German manufacturer of drugs and pharmaceutical ingredients, and my earnings went straight through the roof only about nine months after I had finished my training.
At first, I felt very comfortable and welcome in that company. I was absolutely delighted by experiencing my colleagues fully identifying themselves with the company. It felt as if everybody WAS the company and would do anything to keep it going. I was honoured to be part of that community - I felt like visiting my family every day and being paid for that.

We were paid several bonuses, we were paid money for our holidays, we received an incentive once a year, we were paid a full month's salary at Christmas. After not knowing how to pay for my living for years, I was extremely grateful for that - and I soon got used to not worrying about any expenses anymore.

From earning money to selling my soul

After some time in the company, I noticed a few changes. The one worrying me most was a change in the attitude of my co-workers. Our managers made some decisions that were hard to understand - and over time, we all were even facing some severe negative influences in our daily workflow. We worked hard, we were doing overtime - I sometimes had my working hours for a week accomplished by Thursday noon, and then still sat in my office till Friday night.
Unfortunately, the harder we worked, the more was expected by our management - and even taken for granted. In addition, more and more department heads turned out to be not as competent as they should have been. It once happened, that I returned to the office after two weeks of vacation and I was told how my boss stabbed me from behind while I had been away.
That was the moment for me to apply for a job in another department, and I was delighted when I was accepted. I had worked with that department for quite a while and I already knew the new colleagues and my new boss.
I felt very welcome, and I loved my new position. Again, I worked very hard and I was proud of what I was doing.

You might have heard 'find something you love and you'll never be working again' before, that was exactly how I felt at that time. In addition, I was paid a good salary and bonuses, I could not have been luckier - until everything was destroyed.

It all started with me noticing strange behaviour of my boss and one co-worker. We were a very small department, feeling like a little family. We knew each other quite well, so when the two started acting strangely, we noticed that quite soon.
I don't want to go into too many details here, but it turned out that they had started a relationship and tried to keep it secret whilst actually everybody knew about it. The department was split into two parts by them: those officially knowing and being involved, and those who did officially not know anything but were still noticing that there was something going on.

When I noticed them lying to us and betraying the company, I got to the point where I was selling my soul every single day I went to work. Those in the department who did not want to have a private relationship with our boss and his girl-friend / our co-worker, were bullied. I am the third in a row who was bullied out of the department.

Reaching rock-bottom

Whilst facing severe problems at work, my private life turned downwards as well. My father died from cancer, I was in a relationship that nearly completely destroyed me, I went through some emotionally very hard times.
Trying to overcome everything on my own for years, I developed a heavy depression - and ended up being sent to rehab for nine weeks after a complete breakdown (I could not even walk anymore, it was a very scary experience).

After that rehab, I returned to the same old sh... and I tried very hard to live up to what I had learned. Until I suddenly realized, that nothing would ever change unless I changed it.

Love it, change it, or leave it

I was about getting back to that rock-bottom point - only a few months after I returned home again from rehab. Feeling down and helpless again, I knew I had to do something.
So I left the company, I could not stand it there anymore - everybody knew about the bullying and the other stuff that was going on, but nothing was done about it. Nothing at all. I felt helpless, powerless, I was at my wit's end.

I left my 'partner', who had cheated on me, lied to me, who had made me feel nothing but miserable. Having hoped that things would change for years, I eventually realized that this would never happen and if I kept hold of the relationship I would end up as devastated as before - or even worse.

In the end, it is very simple. Love it, change it, or leave it. If you can't love certain circumstances, and you can't change them, either, then it's time to get rid of them. Change your position by moving on. And don't be afraid of what might come - how low can you go when you're already at the lowest point possible?

Back to the rags but being richer than ever

Right now, I am pretty much back to this situation:

Still, I feel richer than ever. After I had let go of everything that made me unhappy, I chose to become a freelancer and I haven't regretted this decision for even one second.
I no longer feel helpless and powerless, I feel free and I am grateful for this every single day.

Today, I am even grateful for the experience I made with my lying, cheating partner who hurt me so much. I've only grown stronger and now I am into a grown-up relationship with the love of my life.

I might not have much money, but I am happy - and if there's one thing money can't buy, it is happiness.

Thank you for reading this till the end ;)
Love,
Ines