.....I am totally broke mentally and frustrated.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Dear Brother,
I have sacrificed my wife and two children over my mother. In other words, i gave more importance to my mother and sisters, listen more to them than my 1st wife. This happened for 3-4 years. As a result, my wife kept suffering from my family ill-treatment and finally ran away with my 2 children abroad.
I tired the best i could to bring her back but she hates me. She hates me and blames me that i didn't properly looked after her while she was with me. She believes that i always gave more importance to my mothers commandments etc. She believes that i am not worthy of a wife because i cant keep the balance between her and my mother. She blames me that i love my mother and my sisters more that my own children.......
My 1st wife took khula from the court and is living abroad with my children and the day she left me, i
haven't seen my children. As a revenge, my wife is hiding herself/my kids whereabouts from me & and I living somewhere in Europe raising my children and i
know from some sources that she has not contracted another marriage and is raising my children all by herself as she is a medical doctor......
Anyway, i re-married after couple of years. Today I hv three children from my 2nd wife. Immediately after my 2nd marriage, my mother and my sisters started playing
their games once again my 2nd wife too. They tried all they could possibly do to get rid of her too. However, this time i tried to stop them and tried to make them
realize that they are wrong and should not ruin my life again. As a result, my mom left me and is living with my sister for the past one year. Today my mom is nmaking me choose between her and my 2nd wife / three kids otherwise i shall be deprived of the property too which my dad put in my mother's name and is suppose to me mine per the will of my father!!
I am totally broke mentally and frustrated. Islam gives so much rights to parents that i sometimes feel my life is miserable. Because i am not keping my mom happy i believe i shall be punished. Because i let my mom/my sisters control my 1st wife life, i am my 1st wife's culprit too. This way i can't be blessed hereafter too. If i force my 2nd wife out of my life, than she too shall hold me on the day of judgement......
I dont know, i am lost. Can u help guide me or something........
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Answer:
Balance rights mother wife
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Dear and beloved brother in Islam, one cannot over-emphasize the importance and significance of serving and being dutiful to ones parents in Islam Second only to the heinous and the ultimate abomination of shirk in the Sight of Allah is for an off-spring to be undutiful to ones parents!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:
Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say uff to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:
14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 36:
36 Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors who are strangers the companion by your side the way-farer (ye meet) and what your right hands possess: for Allah loveth not the arrogant the vainglorious.........