Alright, I am back again for the pure hell of it because why the fuck not?
Having been on such a crazy sleep cycle (or lack thereof) lately I have not been able to stay in any sort of routine in a meaningful way... which yup sucks as much as it sounds... regardless of the 'progress' that I have made on various projects. The real shit part to that, is that I would not be adjusting my sleep cycle every day if my frigging internet connection was more reliable.
In other words, in order to get anything done I have to use the connection when it is actually working and that seems to be an entirely random affair... and to make it worse... it more often than not... only happens in the middle of the night. I am still unsure if it is true... but I think that it only works 'well' during those times because traffic on the network has dropped rather low by then.
Even during the 'best connection' times, it still randomly drops, fails to load things... and from what I can tell... wastes a solid half (or more) of my limited data each month due to all the failed connections, dropped fetches, timeouts, page reloads and so forth. In all truthfulness it drives me utterly fucking bonkers... and although I tend to not abuse my tools... I have come incredibly close lately to taking a fucking hammer to everything and being fucking done with it.
As aggravating as that is, what really gets me (as I have stated in another entry) is how disruptive that those disconnections are to my 'work flow'. Which, given the already highly technical nature of things (and the interconnected nature of various systems) things tend to get 'lost in the shuffle'... long before the connection 'starts working well' again... and I try to get back on track.
Combining that level of annoyance, with constantly running out of food and clean drinking water (and not being able to afford either of them more often than not) is undoubtedly a recipe for disaster... but the alternative of 'laying down and dying' is only slightly less appealing... and that 'slightly less' part only occurs because it would impact others... so go fucking figure.
On top of all that horseshit to deal with, there has been this super extreme financial pressure on me the last few years (even more so than in previous years) and with the way the shitheels have driven up the price on everything... and driven the value of other things down (like cryptocurrency assets) it is almost impossible to ignore the 'squeeze' occurring for me... where I am caught being fucking crushed between those two pressures.
Then there is the whole thing about not being able to have any sort of 'music therapy' where I live at... due to some local shitheels that cannot help themselves from opening their fucking mouths at the slightest sound of someone actually enjoying life! Not to reiterate all that jazz again... but yeah a place where loud explosions, gunshots... and loud domestic disputes are totally okay but a little music is not okay should tell folks exactly what type of folks that I am surrounded by.
As I have said before, I could (if I so chose to) still play the damned music however I want, as loud as I want, as often as I want... all legally and do it with 'extra' legality given the place is a farm... and there are laws specifically protecting music being played at such places. The thing about that little fact is that the actual law does not matter to the folks around here... because (just like the rest of those kinds of ultra-conservative christo-fascist pieces of shit) the 'law' is only considered 'valid' when it serves their ends.
I have long said, that I am living in a 'microcosm' that is a perfect mirror of what is going on in the rest of this country at the moment... and if this is the future 'they' want for everyone else... things will be getting much worse long before they can start to get better. As much as I do not enjoy the sort of dead-end future this country is heading towards... the realities of the current moment... are so damned tangible that I would have to engage in some sort of cognitive dissonance to not see it all.
In regards to all that stuff, I often say 'modern problems deserve historical solutions' and when it comes right down to it... I think that the French did it best in seventeen eighty-nine... and (whether I fully approve or not) it may well take a similar approach to solve the current problems. Forced inequality and 'silencing' folks... has a way of brewing up a kind of deep resentment in folks... that it inexorably creates the kind of common bond (common struggle) scenario that paves the way for literal 'blood in the streets' as the expression goes... historically speaking of course.
Do I personally want that to happen would be a good question... but also an incredibly fucking disingenuous one to ask (of me) given my long track record of 'keeping the peace', promoting folks being treated well... and generally not perpetuating any of the abuses that I myself have been subjected to (or seen) throughout my life. In other words (for you truly simple minded fucks) I can absolutely see the necessity (or probability) of one thing being a direct response to another thing... and while gruesome... history shows how effective such tactics are... so who am I to judge if it turns out to be the 'will of the people' in the current scenario... or any scenario for that matter?
Anyways, that stuff could all be summed up as 'observations on my own perspectives that I am having in this moment'... rather than me simply expressing my opinions, pushing ideas, promoting bad behavior, outlining an agenda... or any horseshit like that. Being a 'doer' of things... and being fully capable of 'taking action' with zero fucks given along the way... if any of that was on my personal itinerary... I damn sure would not be writing and posting about it all... especially since I would be totally consumed by action... versus pontificating upon the zeitgeist of the moment... but hell I honestly do not expect folks to understand the nuances to any of that... especially when it comes to such a volatile (and albeit violent) topic.
For my part, the path that humanity has chosen for itself is a forgone conclusion... and what is happening now... is simply a part of a natural cycle of what happens when an incredibly unsustainable scenario... tilts towards its inevitable closure. Will I laugh at the 'suffering' of those that caused it would be a good question to be asking... and my answer is: "Abso-fucking-lutly!" because after all... they are the dimwitted shitheads that think infinite growth in a finite system is anything other than cancerous behavior... and pushing (and/or enforcing) that way of thinking/behaving onto everyone else is even more damning... so spare me... because I am a firm believer in the paradox of tolerance.
As much as I know exactly what all the simple-minded folks will read into all that... I also know that anyone looking at the scenario on the planet and thinking 'everything is fine' is either a full-blown psychopath... or the moral equivalent of/to one... and quite frankly... I think they can go fuck themselves in the neck with the closest sharp object... and do the rest of the planet a fucking favor in doing so. Mark my words here, because the time is coming when those kinds of folks will either 'rule over the ashes of a dead world' or they will be 'wiped off the face of it'... not because I want it... or see it coming... but because most (even slightly intelligent critters) tend to want to avoid 'self extinction' via making wholly unwise choices.
Well that is enough 'low effort content' for this entry. Ciao for now and if my words rub you the wrong way I suggest that you deeply analyze the contextual meaning of my latest life motto: Come stepping.