We persist !!?...

In the end, when love really arrives, what defines the story is not that everything turns out perfect, that's pure storytelling, what defines it is what you are made of and who you are when things don't go well as you expect.

Why?

Well, it's very easy to have a very high standard for what you want to receive and never review it with the same honesty as to what you give. And this reflection opens a big space to a phrase that I always say, in love there are no guarantees, that's the first thing to understand and also the most difficult thing to accept.

Because since we were little we were taught to look for the perfect other, the one who never fails, the one who never hurts, without realizing that we ourselves have failed, we have broken hearts, we have made decisions that hurt people we cared about. And that forces us to look at ourselves honestly before demanding from the world what we have not yet finished building in ourselves, do you see?

Losing your best friend, your partner, your half, with whom you laughed and cried about everything, hurts a lot, but also, losing a project that didn't work and for which you gave your life, for which you went where you didn't want to go destroys your soul into a thousand pieces and it can take years to close that cycle, that door, without rancor, with respect, with humility.

Look, the reflection that this conversation leaves us is that despite suppressing ourselves by losing ourselves in the sight of others, the person you were before that, does not disappear, just learns as a defense mechanism, to not be seen so as not to generate conflict (because the erroneous belief is assumed that being oneself does not leave anything good).

We all deserve a stable love...

And the day, you decide to choose yourself again over the approval of anyone, you will have really worked on building your self-esteem, although be careful with that, because that process often comes with relapses, in which it costs a lot to detach from the retina of the other, but once you achieve it, you will have experienced the concept of true freedom.

Reconciliation without responsibility only guarantees access to the repetition of the damage. To repair is not to return, nor to ask for forgiveness, nor to talk about it endlessly; it is to take charge of what was injured and work to not reproduce it again.

Definitely, a stable relationship is one in which you break something of your ego in every disagreement, every fight, every argument, because they understand that the responsibility for conflicts, does not depend on one, but on two. In addition, it is that relationship in which there are natural and healthy conflicts, and despite this we choose each other every day.

Janitze 🦋