When I need to heal my wounds, I go camp alone in nature. I do that every year.
One of many paintings that I painted during my Okanagan lonely camping. This one sold.
Every year, in summer time, I'd get that feeling of melancholy and sadness. It can be triggered by anything, but most often it's the feeling of hopelessness over human indifference. Indifference about anything which concerns the fate of this planet, and does not bring any monetary profit. Indifference about million of things that people just don't care about, because they've been indoctrinated with main stream media and formal education, made into little slaves running after their paychecks. Opposite of love is not hate. Opposite of love is indifference.
Night is coming fast. I'm staring at the sunset sky. Not much to do after the dark settles in, besides hiding in my little tent (on the left) and praying for bear-less night.
Indifference is what is suffocating this planet, poisoning rivers and air and burning ancient forests that have been here millenia before Buddha, in order to raise cows so that meat eaters can have bigger steaks on their plates. Indifference always only sees one's own comfort. It's the shortsighted shell of selfish ego, that makes us into zombies, blundering through life without sense of higher purpose.
Break of the day is always a blessing when you camp alone. I put my shorts on for the picture:)
So much for the positive opening :) That was me before though- the sad man. The man who felt alone and powerless. Since last year I've had major breakthrough though, and things changed. I now understand that everything, even the dark times, serve a higher good, that will eventually come. Life always has it's way, and way of life is always that of evolution and preservation.
Look what I found by the river. As soon as you get closer to humans, you get luxuries:) Not my usual camping spot, but I felt like being closer to civilization after two nights of solitude. Still nobody around at night, but village is close.
Us, little pretentious humans, we think that we figured life out. Ha ha, joke of lifetime. No, we didn't figure out shit. We are part of life, subject to laws of Nature, and Universal Laws that can't bent or unlocked by hungry mind. We are not separate from Earth, we are part of that one super-intelligent being called Gaia. And Gaia will mutate us from within to preserve life. That's what I know as a certainty on cellular level since I had my breakthrough. A breakthrough that had nothing to do with mind stuff. It was an explosion of love from within my DNA, from inside of each of my cells. In that moment, I experienced Divine Grace, and all fell in place in one timeless instant. In one life-changing maaaaaassive download. In a blink of an eye I touched the unbreakable, unchangeable, uncompromising, unconditionally loving Truth of Creation.
Hat that I bought at Jazz festival in Montreal. When you pay your tribute to mother Nature, you gotta pay respect and dress up a bit!
I now know that I can only facilitate evolution of humanity by working on myself. Not on the outside. That's my Saddhana, my earthy work. To face my inner shadows and transcend the low frequency karmic patters, that keep me stuck in the loop of insecurities and fears. This is the greatest gift that anyone can give to this planet. It is not the protest in the streets, it is not the pointing of the finger to corrupt governments and evil corporations, and it is certainly not the voting of lesser evil or watching the wars on TV.
Wineries! Might swing by some wine cellar to buy a nice local wine once I'm done "working"
It is your own awakening which makes the only difference. Which smothers the indifference in you. Through silence, through sitting in the most uncomfortable spot and embracing it with acceptance and trust. That is the most precious gift anyone can give to Universe. To facilitate this quantum leap of consciousness, that dissolves the game of fear, the problem mentality, forever. Such person becomes light for many. Just his presence speaks louder than any vociferous words of protest in the spotlight. That is why Buddha changed millions, while all he taught was Vipassana, sitting under a tree.
Me in my Buddha bliss. Naked, dirty, empty (yet utterly full), connected, happy.
This year, I will go to Okanagan (wine region in British Columbia with hot dry summers) for the first time with feeling of worry-free happiness. Knowing that everything is going the right way. I will settle in my secret spot by a small lake hidden in the pine forest. I will strip off my clothes, maybe even roll up a little smoke (I call them “Laika”, after the first dog that went to space, if you want to believe the story, cause they take me to space), pour myself something to sip on, light up a little fire and stare into the trees and sky. Later on, I'll choose a spot that I'll paint. That's how I pay tribute to nature that I feel connected to. That's how I know that I'm home. In silence and veneration. I'll be scared of bears at night, sleeping alone in my little flimsy tent, and I'll be grateful for the first rays of the morning sun. I'll leave when I feel whole and innocent, three or four days later, without leaving a trace behind.
Found an ancient rusted truck to paint by the retired railway.
To end with, I'd love to share one paragraph of one of my favorite poems by Gemmia L. Vanzant, “One day my soul just opened up”:
....
One day my soul just opened up
I felt this overwhelming pride
what I was proud of only God knows!
Like the pride of a hundred thousand fathers
basking in the glory of their newborn sons
I was grinning from ear to ear!
One day my soul just opened up I started laughing
and I laughed for what seemed like forever
wasn’t nothing particularly funny going on but I laughed anyhow
I laughed the joy of a million children playing in the mud
I laughed until my sides ached
Oh God! It felt so good!
...
Thank you for reading,
Love Will Prevail,
P.S. All pictures were taken by my SLR put on a tripod. I don't take my photographer with me:)
Next time I'll post more of my Okanagan plein-air art. It's totally different from my studio work. You'll feel the dryness of soil and majesty of rocks.