"WHAT?!? . . . why is she falling for HIM?!?! It makes NO sense!" << This statement prompted a huge conversation with a group of male and female friends one night. What came out of that conversion was interesting.
Disclaimer:
There is NO one-size-fits-all on how attraction/love operate, but there are certain patterns to be aware of that might help "Good Guys" catch the eye of more women. Of course, there is a lot more psychology (and probably biology) involved in attraction, but for the purposes of this post, I want to deconstruct the female attraction factor to the iconic "Bad Guy"
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Animal Instinct
While the human race is a sophisticated being, deep inside we still have animal instincts that play a part on hormone responses when it comes to reproduction. To oversimplify: men are seeking child-bearing women and women are seeking men that can protect them (and their children).
The levels of masculinity and femininity, and their roles in attraction, vary from person to person. That is a topic for another post.
Bad Guy Traits
Pulling out a few of the cliche "Bad Guy" traits, he really does demonstrate the protector trait that women find attractive:
- Confident and assertive
- Fights those that oppose him
The "Bad Guy" signals that he can protect his family, but (obviously) it takes more than attraction to have a quality partner for a good relationship. Yes, physical appearance, intelligence, and several characteristics of personality can also be attractive. Again, for the purposes of this post, I'm just zoning in on the 'protection' trait.
The Smart "Good Guy"
There are plenty of "Good Guys" that are confident, assertive, and will fight for their families (and what they believe in). Thank god! . . . but, there are OTHER ways to demonstrate protection. Besides being able to fight-off dangers, protection can also be provided by having money, being intelligent, or having a broad network of friends/family for support.
I feel that if more men demonstrated confidence (not arrogance), assertiveness, and their particular ability to protect, more women would be attracted. True, a handsome man will have more women 'checking him out' (the same is true for a beautiful woman), but it doesn't take long for a woman to figure out if she's still interested.
I Am Not A Psychologist
This is a LOADED topic on attraction/relationships, but the insights I gleaned from the group conversation with my friends made sense to me. I'd love for readers to comment and share their perspective on this topic in order to further the discovery. Ladies, do you agree with me? Men, do you have any thoughts on this?
Maybe someone will write a post explaining why men are attracted to the iconic "Prom Queen"??
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