Every time I hear the word mother ... the voice in my head begins to hum the old but never forgotten tune of Mother, Sweet Mother of Mine, sung by child artiste Neil Reid in 1971! I can’t help but tear up and marvel at how every word of those beautiful lyrics still hold the same emotions and will continue to resonate for generations that follow!
Today is exactly 18 months since I lost my own beloved mother and the journey of living without her is as painful as ever! A strong lady with an iron will, she taught us how to face adversity without complaining, despite having raised us with all the love and comforts she could provide. As a child growing up in the early seventies, my earliest memories are of a lady who rose at 4 am every morning, correcting school books, marking exams etc, to ensure that her family was well looked after before she went to work. She was a school teacher and a stern and strict one at that, but well liked and certainly very well respected ! As my sister and I progressed into adolescence, the strictness also progressed and we constantly looked for ways to outwit her - most often unsuccessfully! And then came the consequences that had to be faced !! Fast forward to adulthood and once I was married, she was my constant friend, guide and mentor, schooling me in the ways of being a devoted and dutiful wife and mother, albeit with constant entreaties of not being as strict with my daughter, as she was with us! Marriage took me out of India and I only needed an excuse to call her ... with no internet or VOIP calls available in those days, a large part of our earnings were spent on telephone bills, much to my husband’s consternation, but to give him his due, he never stopped me, as he saw the benefits that came from seeking her advice.
With her only grandchild, she was the sweetest, most caring granny, indulging her in just about everything that her heart desired, much to my astonishment and constant reminders of how terribly strict she was with us, only to get a very calm retort that interest was always more valuable than capital ! Having given up her full day job to welcome the little one, she took a load off me directing and teaching me how to manage my baby without actually doing it for me, thereby ensuring that I was well equipped to manage on my own once I returned to my own home. Every time she visited us or we went to India, she was always our Mrs Santa Claus indulging us with all our typical treats and keeping everything ready while we were out all day either working or getting chores done! In later years, we ensured she visited us annually to give her a break from the monotony of a fast paced life in Mumbai ... and how she looked forward to these breaks!
Life was chugging along as well as it could and in July 2016, while we were holidaying, came the call that changed my life forever! My sister was on the phone sobbing that mum had been admitted to hospital with a high fever and was delirious. A few tests and a couple of days later, we heard the worst and something we never imagined having to face for my mother had always been a very strong and healthy lady. My husband and I cut short our holiday, and our daughter who was holidaying separately, all rushed back to Mumbai to be with her. We spent a month with her and brought in her 80th birthday together, as a family. Despite her discomfort and pain, she put on such a brave face constantly saying she was still young at heart and could beat both us sisters in the amount of work she could do. Sadly, we knew that the disease had progressed too far and it was only a matter of time, and with our hearts breaking from within, we all put up brave, seemingly happy faces as we cut her birthday cakes. To this day, I am unable to look at the pictures of that holiday, because of the memories associated with it. Heavy hearted, we returned after nearly 40 days, to our respective jobs and two weeks later, I returned to Mumbai knowing she didn’t have much longer! It was as if she was just waiting for me and I am so grateful I met her while she was conscious and still recognised me. We spent some time chatting and then she went off to sleep and we spoke some more in the evening. The next day she was much worse and we decided to move her to the hospital again and the following day, on 2nd September 2016, my beloved mother left this world, leaving her family bereft and pained beyond belief. She exited this world with all the strength and dignity with which she lived her entire life, never having given us any trouble, and trying until the very end, to be independent so that she didn’t burden her beloved daughters.
Not a day goes by that we don’t think of her, miss her and share some anecdote about her ... her granddaughter is now a mother herself and constantly speaks to her beloved Gran. Mum leaves behind a legacy that she always wanted the women in her family to continue ... one of strength, dignity and courage and that is what all three of us endeavour to do in her memory, despite it being so difficult.
Mother you gave me everything ... much more than words can say, go the lyrics to this old song. Ma, I know you are happy wherever you are and are watching over us, but we all want you to know how much we miss you and how we would all give anything to have you back with us. Thank you for giving us the life you did, for standing by us always, and for raising us with the values that have stood us in such good stead. We will love you eternally and know that someday we will be reunited ... until then Garothman Behesht to our precious guardian angel!
To the readers of this post, I implore you not to take your parents for granted ... tell them you love them, spend time with them before it’s too late and above all, tell them you are grateful for having them around !
I leave you with these lines from my favourite song :
“Mother of Mine, now I am grown and I can walk straight all on my own, I’d like to give you what you gave to me, MOTHER SWEET MOTHER OF MINE”.
Love, Peace and Laughter,
Jasmine
Pictures Courtesy Pixabay