The apple definitely didn’t fall very far from the tree when it comes to my little boy Jude. As a kid, I can recall my foundation phase years and always being told that I was too talkative, disruptive to the other students, bossy and unable to sit still and focus - This never really changed, and after falling off the rails completely in Std 4. (grade 6) and then getting dragged to child psychologists and forced to do all kinds of boring activities to determine whether I should be living with my mom or my dad and my brothers, it was decided that because I was the only girl, I should be living with my mother... as I had been living with my dad since my parents’ divorce at age 5.

Clearly having my mom around on a day to day basis made a positive change in my life and I went from being the class nuisance to being the teacher’s pet in my last year of primary school. I succeeded at everything I did, I won awards for public speaking, was top of the athletics team and was my teachers star pupil. Amazing what a little bit of encouragement can do for a person isn’t it…

Sadly, in my case – that was short lived and I fell off the rails even worse when I went into high school… but that is not what this story is about. I managed to sort my sh!t out eventually and despite the odds, made a success of myself (in my opinion anyway). This story is about my little boy, Jude. Every single report Jude has had since he started primary school has had the same constants and they were precisely the same as mine. He is too talkative, disrupts the other students, is bossy and cannot sit still long enough to get anything productive done.

Now in grade one and two, this was less of an issue, but there are a lot more academics involved in grade three and sadly, the comments from his various teachers on his reports have gone from “sternly encouraging” to nothing short of obviously annoyed… and this not only makes me enormously mad, but also very sad and concerned. The school and I – teachers, principal and occupational therapist have all conversed closely since the beginning of this year, and whilst the occupational therapist had finally agreed with my initial statements about Jude, the school and the teacher seemed to feel different.

Now, I am sorry – I don’t care what or WHO you are to my child… there is not a person ALIVE that knows a child better than its mother! And right from the start, I have been told that Jude is struggling to grasp concepts in ALL subjects that he can’t read properly; spell properly etc. etc. blab la… the list goes on! Now please, do NOT get me wrong, I am not just another bias and blind parent who only sees their little angel as perfect… no. But I am a very realistic person, and I also know my child… and in fact, several of you on here “know” him to a relative degree… and he is STREAKS ahead of most kids his age both EQ and IQ – I will put MONEY on it!

After intensive sessions twice a week for 3 months with the occupational therapist, she has now agreed with me on that – saying that Jude only struggles with his concentration, but has absolutely NO problem grasping absolutely ANYTHING put in front of him. Now, I… being his mother, have said all along that there are a couple of issues here…. Firstly, Jude will only give his “precious attention” to that which captivates him – the rest can go fly a kite as far as he is concerned… you may as well try and juice water from a rock. Secondly, Jude is REALLY clever and EXCEPTIONALLY manipulative. He knows precisely how to get what he wants out of people, and will swing the situation in his favour every single time. “I can’t do these sums Sir, they are too hard…” pout sulk mode ON! And this is precisely what has been happening for almost three years and he has been getting away with it… but now, the school wants to squeal because he is not where he “should be” because they wrote out 90% of his stuff for him, because it was “hard”? lol – well, I am sorry – but they are supposed to be the wise ones ;) I guess it must be tough to admit that you have been played by an 8 year old!

Amazing though, how he does everything PERFECTLY at home, because he knows better than to even TRY his luck with me! Do it right, or do it again – until you get it right… end of story! And NO, I will NOT do it for you! Anyway, after the feedback from the OT, I decided not to spend any additional money on that, because we both agree he doesn’t need it… but to rather step in myself and get more actively involved in building my little man UP, instead of breaking him down – something I honestly thought the school would do, considering their ethos and the amount of money I spend monthly to have him sit in classrooms with 12-14 students per class! (Public schools here in SA average on about 30+ kids in a class)

So, at the beginning of this term I decided to spend really focused time with Jude every single afternoon, excluding Fridays – and assist him to develop the ability to focus on certain (possibly boring things) for longer periods of time, to practice and master his writing in a fun and interactive manner, to stimulate his mind with things he LIKES to do and to make him feel GOOD about the fact that he IS in fact a VERY CAPABLE and ENJOYABLE little boy, and NOT a “nuisance”!

We are into the second week of the term and I am absolutely THRILLED with his enthusiasm to do this every day! He doesn’t moan about it and quite happily hops onto the chair at the table and gets involved! – And aces it ALL! Some days I give it to him a little easier, others I push him a bit more… make him become aware that he CAN go a little further and STILL succeed, rather than the opposite… and I have been so VERY impressed with him! I am not only focusing on the mundane and academic side of things, but also the emotional and internal encouragement. I am no teacher, but I am a human being – and I know how much it can break you down when you are made to feel like you are incapable and have nobody around you on a daily basis that truly believes in all your amazing strengths as an individual!

One of the things I decided to start doing twice a week is a guided meditation for kids after he finishes the academics and other activities we do together in the afternoon, and then in the morning – instead of allowing him to watch traditional cartoons while he gets dressed… I have begun to introduce him to motivational, fun and positively boosting songs for kids. I have been really excited to start this and today he did his first guided mediation. My intention behind these activities is to instil greater self-confidence within him as an individual – but also to help him develop the ability to sit still, with greater ease for longer periods of time.

I have found several wonderful videos on YouTube and perhaps you guys have some additional suggestions (kid friendly please… he is 9 now) – but the one I decided to start with today was this one…