When did people stop eating at a table together?

This "everyone for themselves" approach to dinner time is such a foreign concept to me... I was brought up in a family where dinner time, more so than any other, was a moment in time where as a family you would sit at a table, relax, enjoy the meal prepared and spend time finding out what is (or was) happening in everyone's lives - and if not that, then simply to enjoy random conversation and good laughs.

I find it somewhat shocking how FEW families make dinner time an occasion anymore. Yes, I do understand that to a degree life gets in the way, but the reality is, at some point everybody has to eat the food off their plate anyway, so why not do it together.

I have seen TV programs where people under one roof are messaging one another. They are all eating out of the same pot of food, but none of them even get to see one another do so. The kids are on their beds eating, the mother is eating on the go in the kitchen and the father is eating in front of the TV.

To me, this is nothing short of sad!

If we were to look at the rest of each of their day time hours... how much "other time" or opportunity do they get to spend together? Very little to none I would assume! And the sad reality of such a circumstance, is that once you begin to distance... communication fails to exist - and once communication fails to exist there is a breakdown in the relationship as a whole - and that is when difference of opinion and arguing sets in.

Once that starts, you will often find that "said group of individuals" no longer even WANT to spend time in each others company, so each retreats and the problem is not only magnified, but perpetuated.

It is one meal of the day! and to me, it is REALLY important that we all spend it together.

This gets me thinking about so much else that seems to have changed in "our world"...

I come from a family of very "old shool" upbringing. Think and say what you like, I am ETERNALLY grateful for this - harsh as it was sometimes! I have NO time for this "new age" approach to raising kids or family operation... just take a look around you at most of the families today and I am sure you will be able to relate and as for a good portion of the kids... well, they all seem to think the world owes them a favour!

I REFUSE to allow my son to grow up with that self-absorbed, self-serving kind of attitude. Life and consequence might have been a little tougher when I grew up, but I will instill as much of those ethics in my son as I possibly can. Kids today are afforded WAY too much rope. Jude IS taught that ladies walk first. Chairs are offered to elders. You GREET people when you pass them so on and so forth...

I see it EVERY day of my life. Jude attends a private school and I can honestly say that whilst I am grateful for the level of education he is receiving... a good portion of both the parents and the kids in that school need a good old fashioned wake up call! Dripping in all their money and possessions, they SEVERELY lack one of the most fundamental BASICS in life.... MANNERS and simple COURTESY!

They are laden with possessions but are looked after by nannies... where are mom and dad?

Thankfully we are a large family and Jude is surrounded by people of the same moral cloth, so he is an exceptionally well mannered little boy, surrounded by plenty of love - and I will do whatever I can to ensure that it stays this way.

To my mind, LOVE, TIME and COMMUNICATION are the pivotal factors in all of this.

People need to offer more importance to these things...not only families, but people in relationships too. If people loved one another more, gave more freely of their time and spoke what was on their mind a little more often, I believe things would be very different.

People...

Wouldn't crave attention half as much as they do - ending up in sometimes tragic demonstrations of this.

Wouldn't feel half as alone as so many do and they would be more likely to turn to those who offered their time, for support that is possibly desperately needed.

People would probably argue a lot less because they had spoken about what was on their mind. They had shared their bad experience, their perspective, opinion and so on...

There are so many facets to this, but the bottom line is that life is so fast paced these days. Blink and its done a 180.

Stop putting the things that are important, aside for that of work or money. No matter how busy you are or how MUCH you have to "do" - you can spare 20 minutes of your time - no excuses! Family and loved ones come first. Get to know those close to you. Find out what is going on in their world whether they are 7 years old or 70 years old. Everybody craves validation and you will most likely find that once you begin sharing with one another again, there is MUCH to talk about :)

And a good place to start... is at the dinner table - just saying :)

Until next time...

Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx