I went to my aunts home yesterday for a Thanksgiving lunch. I was standing out front talking to one of my cousins. Right as we were passing a cigarette between us someone walked up the drive way that I didn’t recognize. I asked my cousin who it was. This was a family gathering, I should know everyone here.

My cousin said, “It’s Moroni.”

This news stopped my heart for a brief second. What was he doing here? My next thought was, oh no, the first thing he sees when he walks up is us getting ready to smoke. This wasn’t good.

My cousin and I said hi to him, briefly caught up, and told him to go ahead and go on in.

It’s been almost 20 years since I’ve seen this man. He is family, but he’s part of the family that chose to stay in the cult when everyone else left. Moroni is one of my many uncles. His mother was my step-grandfather’s 2nd wife. We both lived with my grandmother throughout much of our teenage years. We’ve worked together, played basketball together, watched tv together, and have shared many meals together. We were once quite close. We lived under the same roof off and on for probably five years. I mean, I accidentally walked in on this guy masturbating once. Lol. We were family in every way, shape, and form.

Almost two years after I left the Kingston group the majority of my grandmother’s family also left. My step-grandpa had four wives, he passed away quite a few years before this big split. Three young boys from two other wives decided to leave with everyone but the rest of my grandfather’s almost two dozen children stayed in the clan. Moroni being one of those.

He’s the oldest male in his mother’s family so maybe he stayed because he felt a duty to all of his younger siblings. Maybe he still believed deeply in the religion. Maybe it was both. But he stayed and there was suddenly a big divide in the family.

Once someone leaves this cult they are disowned by all of the remaining members including immediate family. This was the hardest part about leaving for me. It was tragic to go from being a part of this massive “family” and community to being on my own in the world the very next day. It was a huge loss to learn how to grieve. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for Moroni. We were a big, tight-knit family unit and he lost 5 brothers and 8 sisters in less than a years time. Not to mention all of the nieces and nephews.

Moroni went on with his life in this religion. He was now the “patriarch" of his family with his older brothers leaving and his father gone. I’m sure this was a lot of pressure for him. We got occasional updates on his and his siblings lives over the years but we could no longer see them and they were not allowed to have any communication with us nor did they want it.

Something must have changed because he contacted my aunt a month or so ago and I guess he’s been coming around. This is a big deal! I know it shouldn’t be but it is. It could mean that he is losing his faith in the religion or it could mean that he just misses his family. If he’s willing to reach out to his “outside” family he is losing his faith whether it’s something he’s aware of or not. He could be kicked out of this cult for associating with us so he’s risking a lot. This is something he has to keep secret from everyone he knows, works with, and lives with.

In "The Order", (the Kingston clan) Moroni was dubbed a work horse. These “unlucky” men are transferred from Order business to Order business for their entire lives. They are never allowed to marry. The leaders don’t want to give up a young girl to any of these men that, for whatever reason, they decide to put in this category. They tell them they need to work harder so that God will bless them with a wife so that they can have children and begin to grow their own families. Maybe these men are their hardest and most valuable workers and the leaders know that a wife and children may change that. Maybe they are punishing Moroni for his family leaving. This is something that happens quite often.

None of us know quite where Moroni's mind is right now but we are all curious. We can’t come out and ask him if he’s thinking of leaving the cult because this could scare him away. We have to accept that he is willing to come around and we have to give him the space he needs to make these decisions on his own timeline.

I spoke with Moroni, asked him how he has been, and what’s going on in his life. He wasn’t as nervous as most members are when asked these questions by “outsiders”, which is a good sign for him possibly being ready to leave. He told me he just started a business. He was clear in letting me know that HE started it. That it isn’t another Kingston business. So, me being me, pushed it and asked leading questions to make sure that he was taking all of the profit from the business and not giving it back to the group. Him wanting me to know that it was 100% his with no ties to the group is another very good sign that he will be leaving the cult shortly. He can also be kicked out of the group if he doesn’t give his profits back to the group…

I’m thinking we may be adding another family member back into the family. I thought for sure that him seeing my cousin and I with cigarettes in our hands would shake him enough to stop coming around but he seems unfazed by it. In a good members mind a smoker is a drug user and is evil… They have very strict dietary and health regulations in this group. They can’t even eat sugar! I grew up hearing that “sugar is the tool of the devil!”

I’m looking forward to seeing where Moroni ends up in life throughout this next year. I can’t wait for his out-of-state brother to find out that he’s coming around and for them to “meet” again. I love this pleasant surprise that so many of us got yesterday! There’s a chance that some siblings will be reunited shortly!

Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed my blog post please upvote and/or resteem!

To read earlier works on this topic see:
A Look Inside the Infamous Kingston Polygamist Clan: Housing

A Look Inside the Infamous Kingston Polygamist Clan: Introduction

My introduction_A glimpse into my life

As Always!