The night wind enveloped my sleep, with the strains of dancing leaves along with the warmth of the silence. Tonight is not as usual, I daydream staring at the face of a figure of my illumination that is drawn with last memories. How stupid I am. Oh God, why does this have to happen? My sobs never end with the regret in my heart.
Tok .. tok .. tok ..
A voice behind the door of my room, I know someone who knocked on my door. Nothing else, he is my father.
"Ra, are you sleeping yet?" The father's voice was very soft.
I rushed to my blanket before my father came into my room, I did not want you to know that I was crying.
"It turns out the father's son is already sleeping" Softly wipe the father's hand over my head.
The gentle touch that my father did was the same as someone who gave birth to me who is not in my life anymore. For a moment my room was silent, only the clock ticks that filled this silence. Suddenly a tear drops down my cheek, but now is not my tears. Dad, this is obviously my father's tears. Not so long did father wipe his tears and leave my room. No I guess, my sobs make my eyes so heavy that I finally fall asleep.
The rays of sunlight poking behind my bedroom window woke my sleep which made me forget what happened last night. No, no more. My illness does not recur, a disease that I forget when I wake up. It sounds strange, I do not understand this disease. Either the bacteria that perched on my brain. Without thinking, I hurried quickly to start my activities in this new school year.
It rang out loudly as it led my foot into the classroom.
"Lu Zahra right?" Asked a tall, handsome man with a slightly arrogant manner with two handsome men.
"Sss .. ss ... me?" I replied a little nervously because I knew he was my master.
"Yaiyalah, who else if not lu who is in front of me?" He replied arrogantly with a hand that menyiku at his waist.
"Iii .. yes I am Zahra, who are you?" I could not resist my nerves to be nervous and anxious when I talked to my senior at school.
"Lu do not know me? Kenalin, I'm Bryan, the most hits guy in high school "The answer is by reaching out to me.
As I started grabbing her hand and intending to shake hands with her ..
"Husshh .. Sorry yes, I do not want my hands dirty" Pull his hand back before my hand hit it.
I really do not want to ignore it. With a slightly frightened look, I tried to walk away from the three men, but my attempt failed. They will not let me go.
"There is a teacher ... There is a teacher ..." shouted a bespectacled man running towards me.
Instantly, the three men or just call it annoying boys took out his footsteps and left me.
The footsteps of the bespectacled man were right beside me.
"You're okay right?" He asked with a breath that rushed.
"I'm fine, who are you?" I replied in a puzzled voice.
"Kenalin, my name is Rayhan. Sorry I just cuman nolong you from the pestilent demons "The answer with a little smile show sweet.
"Oh yeah, my name is Zahra. I'm very grateful to .. emm .. Brother? "I replied in a confused tone to call my senior with a slightly embarrassed face.
"Just call me Rey" His advice with a soft smile.
"Ra, I go to first class yes" He continued while the road left me.
I was silent for a moment without realizing it was already started. I walked quickly toward my class.
The sternness of the king's afternoon with the gentle breeze accompanied my steps to go home. My mind suddenly remembered my father, whether he was still in his office or not. My shoe steps that can be considered quite expensive is stopped and headed to the father's office that served as headmaster in high school this.
Apparently father is still in his office.
"Hi princess, come home ya dear?" Call the father who spoiled me as an only child.
"Yes daddy, let's go home" I invited by spitting out the tone.
"Ayok sayang, but father wants you to accompany father to lunch first. Later father bought ice cream deh "Rayu father with hunger that gnawed his stomach.
I can not refuse my father's invitation, we finally visited a restaurant not far from our house. When we chose a seat, I saw a familiar person at the same time. Bryan! Yes, that's Bryan! I saw him with a woman about 25 years older than him. Instantly he saw my father and approached our seat.
"Good afternoon sir" Sapa Bryan to my father while kissing hands like a pupil to the principal.
"Loh you!" Bryan continued surprised to see me beside my father.
"What's the kid? Why are you surprised to see my son? "Asked the father who was confused with Bryan's attitude.
"Yes dad, tad .." Cut my tongue because Bryan stepped on my foot.
"Yes sir, we met at school" Bryan continued with a sweet smile.
The look on my face was annoyed at Bryan because he stepped on my feet pretty tight. Maybe she thought I was going to tell her father this morning.
Long story short, we have finished lunch and go home. The atmosphere in the car was quite quiet, making me suddenly think of Bryan. I see when he shows his smile, he seems kind and not so annoying. I whispered in my heart to make my father want to know what I was daydreaming.
"Dorrr .." My dad's teacher interrupted my thoughts in the car.
Looks like dad finds out I'm thinking about Bryan, because of what he said that seduced me about him. This was the first time I had fallen in love. Perhaps only the monkey love that often happens to young people today.
Often I met Bryan, now he changed his attitude a little to me. He now uses the title 'I-you'. Does he like me, too? He spent a lot of time with me. Either to read a book or enjoy a cup of hot chocolate. Only this time my illness did not recur again, but for some reason father's attitude is different now to Bryan since father knows where he lives. Father knows where Bryan lived because I was visiting sick Bryan. In my mind I just thought that dad was tired.
The green floors decorated with the rainbow flowers illustrate my current mood. It was right on my front yard that Bryan and I lay staring at the sky. There was a laugh between us, for a moment Bryan sighed, like he wanted to talk about something.
"Ra, I want to talk something" I'm Bryan in such a serious tone.
"You've been talking about it before too" I said in a joking tone.
"I'm serious Ra" Bryan continued with the body that now started to sit and face me.
"I love you Ra" He continued firmly and looked at me with a face of seriousness that I had never seen before.
I was surprised to hear it, why he had the same taste as me. For a moment my tongue stiffened to speak, the atmosphere became very quiet. Looks like dad heard Bryan's remark, somehow now father is being tough to him to oust Bryan and threaten him not to be with me anymore. I was shocked to see such a father, I was angry at my father with tears and went to my room. Daddy tried to chase and opened the door of my room, but father failed because I had already locked the pink door.
All day I did not get out of the room that all the contents decorated by the pink color. I just pondered why my father became violent and rude to Bryan, not usually a father like that. Since that incident, Bryan has always avoided me and my illness is relapse every day.
Clak .. clak ..
Drops of blood dripped from my nose, for a moment I saw the blood and I was unconscious. Dark everything dark.
What a ray this is, I can not see it. I also tried to open my eyes slowly. Where is this? Beside me there are so many sleeping beds for the sick. What really happened? I saw father sleeping beside me.
One week I passed my day in bed, I want to go home, I do not want to get a needle again. After one more week passed, I was finally allowed to go home. I asked my father what the illness was. Dad's answer made me both startled and unbelieving. I got stage 1 brain cancer. I diligently did chemotherapy until my hair fell out.
The early morning dew along with the singing birds. That was my first day in school again while I was undergoing the chemotherapy. Bryan, I ran into Bryan that morning. But he does not seem to know me at all, I miss him. For some reason, my lupus disease can not forget my memory with Bryan. I'm so sorry then. I'd rather not know him than I should forget him, for forgetting it is very difficult for me, like counting the amount of sadness I've experienced. I tried to smile, smile even though the tears flowing, like the rain fall when the sun is shining.
Tonight it rained down, returning me with last memories. I remember my mother, the angel who gave birth to me saw the beauty of this world. Why should that happen? At exactly the same time on my birthday, my mother said goodbye to me to go to Australia with colleagues. I stupidly let my mother go. I did not expect, mother was farewell to me to go forever. Yes! Go to different realms to meet God. I miss you mom, miss you so much.
Dad approached me, like he wanted to say something.
"Ra, father want to talk for a moment" Dad said as he approached me.
"Please father" I replied.
Dad started the conversation with the incident when the mother gave birth to me, it turns out I have an older brother who never lived with us. Dad says my brother is a handsome man with a nose-like curve that is like my mother. I guess, I'm an only child, it turns out I have an older brother. Where is he now? Has she followed her leave? Next story, father suddenly discusses Bryan, dad looks nervous and stiff once when told about Bryan. Father's eyes are teary.
"Honey, actually you can not bear to tell this to you. However, this is the right time for you to know everything. Bryan it .. Actually .. He is your sister son. My father did not think of him as a father's son, because father used to be confused to take care of you alone. Before father had no job, father frustrated how to support you. Forgive father dear "Dad told me with tears dripping down his cheeks.
I was shocked to hear my dad's account of Bryan, it's just fitting that he did not approve of our relationship, because we are brothers. The cry of my heart accepts it, I can only cry sobbing in my room. I want my lupus disease to recur, I want to forget my memories with Bryan. I want to start a new life.
The next day, I was reluctant to get out of the room. I kept silent on an empty stomach, and pale pale face. Somehow, at that moment Father persuaded Bryan that he would come to my house and persuade me to eat. Bryan was so sincere to feed me that I wanted to eat. I was persuaded with the bite with a face that was still pale pias.
"Ra, I already know everything. You and I are brothers Ra "Bryan said with tears in his eyes.
I wanted to scream, but I could only stay still.
Clakkk .. Clakk ..
The blood drops again, now the blood is flooding my hands. Dad and Bryan panicked at me and immediately took me to the hospital. It turns out my brain cancer is already stage 3, whether I can still help or not. I leave it all to God. I give up.
"Bryan, aa .. a .. I love you very much, please keep my father for me" My last words were heard.
Now I was under a stretch of land with a sprinkling of flowers on it, I was right next to my mother. I'm calm with mom. Goodbye to the world.
Life is not always sweet, but not always bitter too. If fate has said, then nothing can change it back like a paper that has become ash. Life will surely be a twists and turns that accompany us. Likewise with love, every love there must be twists that want to destroy it. But, only true love can hold it, because true love will always wait until you come back in His arms.