Hey friends. I decided to compile a short list of the things that help me work through (and sometimes prevent) a depressive episode. It took me a long time to realize that depression and anxiety were something that routinely affect me, and it sort of freaked me out. Those are some big, serious (and kind of scary) words. And it's no walk in the park dealing with them. So let's go! These are things that work for me, and maybe one or two of them can work for you, too. :)
1. 'Depresso' is less forbidding
Names and their associated stigmas are powerful forces. They often tint the way we see the world and subtly shape our perspective before we have a chance to decide what our own perspectives are. For me, the name "Depression" epitomized something that I couldn't fight; something so much bigger than me. And yet, there was no way I could say that it wasn't Depression that I struggled with. So I decided to rename it. Now, in my own mind and to my husband, I call it Depresso. Because all I can picture is a cute, little sad espresso cup who needs a friend. And that makes me smile.
2. Get moving
The first and surest sign that I'm entering a depresso episode is that I don't want to move. Sometimes it's that I just don't want to get out of bed for hours. Other times I can't work up the energy to to normal household tasks. Eventually, I'll just sequester myself away with an interesting book or a Netflix binge.
When this starts to happen, I have to make myself move. Whether it's going for a walk, doing some yoga, or going to the climbing gym, movement jump-starts good perspective. I notice that my thoughts stagnate and the world becomes sour when I don't move. Once the blood gets flowing, the world seems safer, smaller and a little more wondrous.
3. Success = accomplishing one thing
When I'm feeling depresso, it's easy for things to pile up and snowball into a huge old mess.
e.g. I have no energy, so the house stays messy, I don't follow up with a client and dinner just doesn't exist. Because the house is messy, I didn't follow up with a client and there's no dinner, I'm a terrible person who can't get anything done. Because I can't get anything done, I'm a terrible person. Because I'm a terrible person, I'll never be able to get anything done... etc.
Instead of measuring the success of a day by a laundry-list of to-do's, I started measuring it by only. one. thing. I pick a goal, and if I can accomplish that one thing, the day is not wasted (and I'm not a terrible person). Sometimes it's just getting up and making my bed or contacting one person. Some days it's a rather simple task, other days it's more complicated. I just adjust it to my current state.
4. Do one hard thing every day
This is a handy little trick that's come out of our time living here in Germany. While it's full of adventure and excitement, it's also a very different way of life, a very different language, and a very different culture. When I'm feeling depresso, sometimes the normal things here (that aren't normal to me naturally) seem incredibly difficult. Especially the language.
I realized that every time I avoid doing something because I'm afraid of doing it or overwhelmed, it becomes harder the next time I face the situation. Whereas if I just do it the first time, it doesn't have the chance to grow into something formidable.
5. Stick to your habits
One of the hardest aspects of being depresso for me, is the complete lack of energy that hits me like a wall. Which then compounds into all sorts of things I don't get done, or do waaay differently than normal. And while that's okay (not every day has to be ultra-productive) I find that relying on the little daily habits of life help the day seem more normal in the midst of the weirdness.
Also, it should be noted that this is not the time I try to incorporate all sorts of really great habits or routines that I always dream of. I just make myself do what I already do, like my morning and evening routines. Whatever it is? Keep doing it. That little bit of normalcy helps ground your mind.
6. Watch this video: 7 ways to maximize misery
This video will forever be my go-to when I'm feeling down.
[7 ways to maximize misery]
7. Be okay with the fact that you're not okay
This is probably the most important and also the most difficult thing to remember. It's so easy to not be okay and get mad at myself (or sad, or lonely, or...) for not being okay when I think I should be. When you break it down, the problem is that I start responding to my own responses rather than the original situation.
It's okay to not be okay. We're only humans after all, and sometimes humans aren't okay. It's just part of this existence. It doesn't mean that we won't be happy again, because we will be.
But it's only when we can own not being okay that we free ourselves to be happy in the midst of it. A wondrous paradox of being both okay and not okay at the same time. Because it will pass. And when it's over you'll still be there--a wonderful, wonderful you, that's been there all along.
-Jules