In between the grocery store isles,
sleep deprived, lost and confused,
my mind is trying to seek
categorical resemblances,
familiar references,
but all I see is reality as it is,
a badly modeled 3D environment,
with bump maps and reflection values,
assets and patterns, all pieces are there,
but the one who modeled it
was doing a half-assed job.
I see through the seams of reality,
in between the isles the geometry breaks
and behind this smoke screen
the real reality appears,
the source code that runs the whole operation,
and I think I might have seen a glimpse of something
real, beyond the ordinary, deceitful sensory input
but my brain fails me again and again,
it brings me back to this sense trap,
I try to get back, see through,
but my dendrites snap like overheating resistors,
my circuit runs in the wrong direction,
the brain is heating up and coming up
with new words instead,
like bullettuce,
a lettuce made of bullets
or a bullet that is full of nutrients or something else,
why do I need to think this now
my brain is a loop that keeps feeding me
false information and making decisions based
on that false information
and the loop starts over,
false information reinforcing false information,
behind this all of classical philosophy
hitting me in the head,
glimpse of Plato’s cave as it is,
shadows on the walls,
hidden logic running things in a preordained manner
I lost in loops and untrue sentences,
now the loop feeds memories that I don’t believe in,
reality breaks down to me entirely,
I a m a l i e
I t e l l m y s e l f
i n order to believe
t h e l i e.