I blame it on the INFP - the inability to do anything half way.. the way that when I have a goal, I go all in.
It’s not a bad trait to have necessarily, but it sure is an exhausting one.
I’ve always admired those here that don’t get involved with “things”, they just come and enjoy the place while collecting some STEEM. I always wished I could just do that, but I am a fixer deep down in my soul - which means I have an inability to not get involved. I see things that need to be improved and I work to improve them, it’s just what I do.
Mix that with ideals that are probably too high, and an altruistic mindset that can get out of hand quickly, the complete unwillingness to play games and the lack of an agenda and it can leave someone set up for failure. But that failure is to themselves, as they are so focused on helping others.. they forget about themselves... and in this world, if you aren’t looking out for yourself, no one is.
I’ve always admired those who somehow found that balance - to be able to help others .. but not give too much of themselves away, I haven’t yet.
The problem with this is the more you give, the more people take, and the more they expect. It’s not even on purpose or their fault really, you after all are giving yourself to them.. and they just get used to it.
Maybe “use” isn’t the right word, but it’s what it feel like.
When the hoops to jump through are constant, the outer agendas always change, the goals of the few start to cloud the overall end goals and there is just no end in sight.. and what’s at the end anyways? What do you achieve from it? Well, nothing personally.. it’s all for the greater good. The success of the masses benefits each individual.. that has always been the goal. one for all
but what about you?
Who takes care of you, if you aren’t? Who says enough is enough and decides that it’s just too much? Who says that the weight you cant carry forever?
oh right, that’s you.
Yeah, you. You have to set up the boundaries, you have to learn to say no and realize you can’t fix everything on your own, and you have to understand that that is ok. No one else will do this for you, they will use you as long as you let them.
And it will leave you utterly crushed.
It’s still an ongoing journey for me, finding the balance. I’ve written about it a few times, and a few more and still I struggle with it. I guess that’s just part of life though, learning, growing...
and finding that place when you can tell yourself, that it’s ok to walk away.
Sometimes you have to just come to terms with the fact that you achieved all you could, and it’s time to move on. It’s not a failure and it’s not you letting people down, it’s just you looking out for yourself, even just a little.
And if you don’t, who will?
Don’t lose your faith, don’t lose your passion and don’t lose your ideals, but for goodness sake.. make sure you don’t lose yourself.
Take care of each other, just don’t forget yourself too.
Much Love,
Justine