A lot has been going on recently. In my mind at least, and here's what triggered this chain reaction of thoughts.
One hot afternoon in Nigeria (as if I've left this place since I was born. Rolls eyes), I was looking for where to buy the coldest soft drink to cool my temper.
I had walked a distance without any luck when I came upon a place where people were gathered trying to separate a fight.
You see,this kind of drama does not occur frequently where I stay. It's a sleepy town and one does not pray for disasters but when you stumble upon one like I did, between a husband and a wife (guffaws heartily) , you can't help but watch till the end.
If you had given me five thousand naira to leave that place, I'll take it and look for a tree to climb and continue watching.
Please don't judge me
Its a Nigerian someting.
image source: google.
This post is not about wife battery inasmuch I am totally against it with every fibre of my being.
And I still do not know how to write this without touching on an aspect of feminism because it is a very tiring topic for me as it has been bastardized a lot among my country women on Facebook.
Let me tell you the cause of this particular acrimony.
According to witnesses present at the onset, the woman owns a small shop where she sells provisions. Her husband however, comes and takes things without paying for them while she manages the business and the two little girls they have.
On this particular day though, the woman had had it up to her nose with that nonsense behavior. So when the man came in to collect as usual, she asked him for the money he was owing already.
He probably thought she was joking and brushed her off but the woman started shouting how she opened the shop with her own money, how he's just being wicked to her by doing what he does.
I guess things went south pretty quick as the man who was visibly embarrassed quickly turned on her and beat her up.
image source: google.
I couldn't stifle my annoyance at the stupidity of the man. If it was in more organized society, he'd have been in the back of a police car quicker than he could raise his hands on a woman in public.
But I couldn't help but wonder, as a girl who hopes to get married someday, would I be really happy if I earned more than my husband or if my family's finances was totally dependent on me?
Maybe initially, I could be okay with it but for how long, 5 years? A decade?
Now this is not a matter of being a good woman.
Even in the best of us disappointments are bound to set in and resentments may arise once in a while.
It might not be entirely that the man is less ambitious or lazy. It could be the state of the economy.
Maybe he's an artist who doesn't have a single art work in any gallery, or a writer who hasn't churned out one book.
How do I cope with children and work?
Image source: google.
It's easy to say I want to be a career woman and personally I will never ever wish to be in a position where I'll call out my husband in public.
But we all know how things can go south pretty quick.
A little appreciation and support from the man could relieve such resentments when they arise, but what if low self esteem arises in the man and he begins to act very nasty towards you and its understandable but you still feel you sold yourself short?
Image source: google.
Maybe a woman has had enough and decides to get a divorce. And just like Mary J. Blige, you're the one paying alimony because you're richer.
God of mercy!
We do not pray for evil to befall us or for us to be in such a situation but these things happen,
True to life.
One might say I'm thinking too much but sometimes we just have to be mentally prepared especially in this generation.
There are many perspectives one could look at this from.
What do you think?
Let's talk.