When I was in college I took a journey that was a not part of the official "curriculum." I found my own "course load" which was more like a winding river than a static and cardboard university "4-year plan." I would like to take you on that journey here, if you'll come with me. It all starts with a book called Awareness.
I had met a Polish exchange student when I was maybe 23 or 24, through a friend. She freaked me out. A 17-year old Polish girl who seemed to be 32, who had already experienced about a million times more in life than I had. At least, that's how it seemed to me at the time. I believe it was she who first recommended this book to me. Awareness. I think I have purchased it and given it away about 7 or 8 times now.
This is it. If you buy it, you will probably have it read in one or two days, or if you're like me and like to really soak in the words, maybe three. Awareness is...Awareness.
I don't know how to describe this book, but, it's just about...reality.
Though this book for me was revolutionary enough on its own, it led me to two other works which would impact me greatly, one being the book Summerhill by A.S. Neill, a story of the revolutionary Suffolk, England free school, and 8 and 1/2, a Federico Fellini film.
Let's start with Summerhill. Man. I remember pulling it from the stacks of the old Purdue University North Central library and just being...happy. I am not sure now whether I happened to find it at random, or I looked it up, but either way I couldn't believe it actually existed. The book mentioned in Awareness! Summerhill!
Summerhill changed my life. Challenging my Christian religious programming and confirming things which I had always suspected in my deepest spirit but had been too afraid to admit. The authoritarian, moralizing and shame-based models for raising children I had been brought up with were not necessary to the healthy development of children. In fact, they were absolutely toxic.
Children at Summerhill were allowed to do whatever they wanted to, every day, as long as they did not impinge upon the right of others to do the same. They could play all day and never go to class if they wished. What is funny is, once the authoritarian programming and shame from the public and Catholic schools had worn off, they almost inevitably did go to the classes of their choosing and they excelled at them! Play was also considered more important than "curriculum." Here is a treasure trove of fantastic quotes from Neill, and here is one I will share now:
It is only thwarted power that works for evil in a child. Human beings are good; they want to do good; they want to love and be loved. Hate and rebellion are only thwarted love and thwarted power.”
8 1/2
Also mentioned in Awareness, I almost feel that trying to describe this film would be a sort of insult to it, but basically, it is a movie about Fellini not knowing what to make a movie about, so he makes a movie about himself not knowing what to make a movie about. This is a cheap description, but is the framework for the whole picture.
This movie is poignant, and is such an impressionistic and beautiful testament to how easily any human being can build up vast expectations, and be held up to the same by others, but know nothing of real love, and tremble at the thought that he is, at the end of the day, a "phony." This movie, to me, shows how this very trembling is one of the things which enables us to truly love one another.
Finally, an ode to my professor, and another unschooling advocate and brilliant mind I was introduced to through his influence.
It was kind of shocking. My Elementary Education professor--one of the heads of the department--had just handed the entire class a sheet titled "The 7 Lesson Schoolteacher." It was the acceptance speech for the New York State Teacher of the Year Award, by John Taylor Gatto.
Gatto was a New York teacher who scandalized everybody by saying in no uncertain terms that he didn't teach, but instead humiliated, controlled, and made learning nearly impossible for his students. None of this was because he believed it was right to do so. In fact, at the end of his career he claimed to have been sabotaging the education system as much as possible each and every day.
He maintained that the "education system" didn't need to be "reformed"--it needed to be abolished. It was purposefully built on control, subversion, and indoctrination. He focuses heavily on the fact that this is verifiable, historical reality. The "education system" was never meant to educate. It was meant to subjugate. You can read his speech here.
My professor didn't need to give us that speech. It could even be said that he was in some sense putting his career on the line in sharing it with us. He and I would become close friends after that, and he turned out to be one of the most encouraging, understanding, and compassionate male role models I have ever had in my life.
Well. That's basically it. If you are interested I hope you will dive into some of this stuff. Everybody takes away something from these works which is uniquely, and I feel irrevocably theirs. That is why I love "awareness."
I love what I have seen in these books and movies. Namely, a deeper vision into my very self, and a more clear vision of the world around me, and the endlessly fascinating creatures that inhabit it.
Peace.
~KafkA
Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist residing in Niigata, Japan.