I really don't want to go sing and dance all day for a bunch of little gremlins that are going to call me "old man!" punch me in the balls, and tell me how much they don't want to learn English today.
But. I gotta.
On the trajectory out of where you currently are, to where you want to be, there is a balance of forces. Like with rocket thrusters, one has to time things and apply the right energy at the right times to keep things stable, and the angle of escape correct, more or less.
My job now is steady, and I still require the steady (if somewhat meager) paycheck it provides. The free time is immense, compared with most other jobs. I should be grateful. I am grateful. But, the thing is, it ain't where I'm at inside, really.
Still, I gotta do it, at least for now. Should I can my steady hamster wheel gig, and apply 100% upward thrust before gaining enough momentum, my rocket's 🚀 gonna potentially stall out, and coming crashing back down. Don't want that.
Should I just do the bare minimum (my day job) and neglect blogging, research, libertarian activism, organizing interviews and trading/saving crypto, I am gonna flatline and never go anywhere, indefinitely. Fuck that.
No sleep 'til Brooklyn.
And by "Brooklyn" I mean full-time activism and content creation. Doing that all day might mean I wouldn't have to burn the midnight oil at night so much as I am doing now, and believe me, it takes it's toll. But, what am I complaining about. THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO BE DOING, AND THESE ARE MY CIRCUMSTANCES. No way around it. Midnight oil, it is.
This is my bed. I've made it. Gotta sleep in it. I made the choice inside long ago that I couldn't live the zombie li(f)e. Now, I have to work my way out of it. And I'm thankful for all the opportunities I've found to be able to, with real, hard work.
So, as I sweat, sing, dance, and herd kids today (extremely painful to do as an individualist anarchist) I will do so knowing that I am blessed to interact with these little weirdos who are, in all actuality, the world's truest anarchists. Each punch in the balls is going to make full-time creativity that much sweeter. There are, in all honesty, some good moments, too. But, it's like a famous tennis player once said (something along these lines):
"I'm good at tennis, but I don't like it. You can be good at something but not like it."
Exactly how I feel about "teaching" kids.
THURSDAY. BRING IT, BITCH! HERE WE GO!!!!!!
~KafkA
Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as Facebook and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)
