Hi Luvs, before I get into the Chapter I recommend you get comfortable; pour yourself a glass of wine or a cup of coffee, sit back and enjoy!
Chapter 1: The Big Move
One click away. That was it. One click and my life was about to change- for the better or worse. It was now or never, and I was at my last nerve and potentially out of my damn mind. But I did it anyway. Click! My flight was booked and it was only a matter of time before I was out of this bitch! Quit my job [check]. Withdraw all of my savings [check]. Now all that was left to do was get my KARI Bradshaw on and move to the Big Apple.
I didn’t have a specific plan, there wasn’t much thought behind how I was going to go about getting my book out there in the world. The only thing I knew was that I hated my job and felt so confined and bounded by my family’s expectations. I was going to make the most of this journey and I guess my black ass is dragging you guys along this misery ride with me.
So, I packed up my whole apartment. It was strange at first because initially, I thought about placing my things in storage just as a precaution but I ended up donating the majority of it to charity. I guess I had a feeling I was not going to return to this island. Now, the joke would be on me if things don’t work out in NYC, and everything backfires on my ass. I’ll have to repurchase all of my utensils, furniture and most of my clothes. Well, that’s if my job would take me back and if I get money. Or maybe I’ll end up on the streets of New York City begging for spare change.
The thought of it all was scary and the million and one fears arose but I stood my ground. I needed to let go of it all and start fresh. I wondered if Julia Roberts felt the same way in “Eat Pray love”?! It’s funny when I can look back at movies and relate to the main character(s). It’s sort of a relief because I know that I’m not the only person in the world that’s going through that particular obstacle - maybe the writer of these movies either went through it or knew of someone that did.
Before I left for the airport, I stared at what used to be a filled studio apartment that was now an empty one. I had quick flashbacks; of all the lonely nights, the times I broke down on the bathroom floor - it was all so vivid. I also remembered the good times; the wonderful bonds I was able to form, especially with men but I’ll save that for another time. I took a deep breath and a tear fell from my eyes (I know! Talk about being fucking dramatic). I knew deep down that this was the end of that particular chapter. There were no regrets, just memories. Memories to cherish for the rest of my life.
“Goodbye apartment #11A,” I said faintly.
My taxi then pulled up and I was off to the airport for my new adventure. Who knew what life had in store for me but I was ready.
A couple of hours later, I arrived in the Big Apple. It was almost like I had imagined, and I became overwhelmed by the countless possibilities laid out in front of me. However, in my daydreams, I was there with tons of money “flossing”. Instead, I was in the big city with little to nothing but I was going to make the most of it.
I was relying mostly on my savings to get through the three or four months; that’s how long I gave myself to get a book deal. If that didn’t work out, it was back to the island, continuing along the previous path and holding off on this dream of mine. Just the thought of going back to that life got me depressed, but I couldn’t waste time dwelling on it. Plus, it was so far ahead — the future is unpredictable. Who knows where I’ll be; maybe a model?! — Ouuu, maybe an Actress or in a train station homeless and hungry strip searching mice for a piece a cheese. WHO KNOWS?!
The first week, I stayed in the Airbnb; which wasn’t too shabby. I used my time to look for cheaper apartments, as well as different publishing houses (I really didn’t know how the whole “book thing” worked but I had to start somewhere). Of course, I could not resist a little exploring. Small island girl in the Big Apple- still in disbelief I took such a big leap.
Side note- I like to believe that life takes us on many paths on our journey. Sometimes we understand a particular path and other times we are so confused about why we’re on it. In my opinion, good or bad, none of our paths are mistakes- It’s all a lesson and it’s up to us to learn from them.
"Back to the story"
I loved being in New York; everyone minded their own business and there were so many people that had dreams as big as mine. I loved that feeling I got whenever I went strolling through the city during the night. The bright lights, the hustlers, the crazies, everything just made me feel inspired somehow.
A few weeks later, I found a cozy small apartment between 26th and 27th. My initial thought was “WOW this is the same size of my closet back home.” As I stepped into the apartment, I literally saw the whole room through the doorway, but it was good enough; within my price range and I knew it was only temporary. I had the necessities plus a small writing area by the window. Having been in the business field, I made sure that I budgeted out my cash so that it could last whilst being in the city and I wouldn’t go hungry.
It didn’t take me that long to get settled in. Most of my time now was spent editing my manuscript. I wanted my first Novel to be perfect. And not turn out as bad as the first time I had sex- that too I wanted to be perfect but goddammit it was a train wreck. Carrying on! There were brief moments my mind wandered off while writing; I felt like I was Carrie Bradshaw, minus the big curly hair and being wealthy. I was more of the BB version (Black Broke version)- like a 90s bootleg movie- SHIT! It still felt pretty relatable.
Until this started going downhill. More weeks had passed. I was having zero luck getting an agent and the only companies willing to help me publish were the non-traditional publishing houses, and they required A LOT of money. I became stressed; I wasn’t seeing enough progress. I was running out of time and most importantly, I was running out of money. It wasn’t like I could call “The National Bank of Dad” to ask for cash. After he found out what I was doing, he totally cut me off. Oh well! I still couldn’t give up.
As time went by all I kept receiving was rejection letters and it started to get me. The fears began kicking in.
Maybe I am way in over my head” I thought repeatedly.
I needed a little break, some relaxation — you know, some alcohol. So, I went to a bar on 5th street.
“One drink couldn’t do any harm; it’ll be enough to numb the pain.”
Then one drink ended up being four vodka cranberries and a few beers. Luck had it, I ended up meeting a dashing Italian/New Yorker; mid-thirties nurse- let’s call him “Johnson.” Johnson was very masculine; broad shoulders, great smile and very handsome. He liked my accent, I liked his....... everything! He definitely took my mind away from my worries... well briefly but AGAIN that’s another story for another time. Spending time with Johnson helped me out a lot; cleared my mind and it was now time to face the music. It was time to accept that I needed a job ASAP because a chick needed some cash.
I began contemplating about all the possible jobs I could do whilst in the city, except the finance field- I was leaving that as a LAST RESORT. It was time to try newer things. Venture out a bit! So, I thought long and hard about all of my options;
Flight attendant; good option! I loved traveling but I can’t swim, and in case of an emergency I’m like a headless chicken; I would end up panicking along with the passengers. Maybe blurt out something inappropriate like “OOhh GOD we all goin’ DIE!!!!” with tears, snot, and dribble pouring out. - OKAY, that’s a no!
Waitress??; Hmm maybe! I’ll get free food or discounts; I do love food! But then I remembered how clumsy I was. I am strongish but I would probably fall on my face and break everything, maybe get fired- Okay, NOPE!
Customer service rep?? –oh hell nawww! People tend to be rude to CSR and I am not the best when it comes to rude people. My tongue I can somewhat control, but my facial expression? My facial expression would tell them exactly what I’m thinking.
Dog walker??; I do love dogs. I could spend hours with a dog. YES! I will become an awesome dog walker... HOLD UP! “What about when they poo,” I thought. I wondered if I would have to clean the poo up, and what if I needed to poo or pee, what do I do with the dogs? Do I leave them somewhere? What if one dies on my watch, would the family sue me?! Americans sue for everything, and I got no money to compensate. So, I’ll probably end up in prison and be someone’s bunk-bitch. Plus, orange is not my color. SHIT!
Right when I thought I was a useless human being, I found an ad on Craigslist for a Sales Rep. Got an interview two days after applying. The nerves took over as I entered the boardroom and saw approximately fifteen other people. The interview went extremely well. The HR and boss loved me, that’s why I wasn’t shocked when I saw the “you’re hired” e-mail. I went out and found a few cheap work outfits. The week after, I showed up to the front desk to check-in, since it was my first day.
I was then told by the Concierge that my name wasn’t on the list. I was so puzzled and slightly embarrassed. They phoned the manager, who then came down and apologized for the inconvenience. He went on to clarify that the email I received was sent by accident and there was the following e-mail apologizing for the mix-up, which I didn’t see. I was absolutely embarrassed! I quickly turned around and headed back to the apartment. Spent a few days crying and thinking it was all a waste and it was time to call it quits.
I eventually scraped myself up off the apartment floor. I came to the realization that I was SCREWED!!!! I had no experience other than finance. What the heck was left to do? I was running out of ideas. I really didn’t know what to do.
I needed to be able to cover my expenses, not put a lot of pressure on my eyes, and still save up enough money for an editor to assist me with polishing up my manuscript so that I could get an agent.
Then, one night it hit me. While eating noodles in my bra and white oversized granny panty.
“What about being a Nanny?!”
It all came to me after reading “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett along with watching the movie. Don’t ask me why I did both. I clearly had time on my hands since I was a soon to be certified Diplomatic Vagrant. After watching the movie, I wondered how Emma Stone felt playing that particular role; having to listen to all these terrible stories about what these nannies had to go through to provide for their families. So, I thought “What about being a nanny?” Hmmn I like children - I think.
But how was I going to become a nanny though? I’ve had zero experience in that field. The most I did was babysat, my niece. I think I did a pretty good job. I might have dropped her a couple times in the past but she turned out fine. So, how hard could it be?! I spoke to a friend of mine that had been a nanny for quite some time, and she said the experience had been amazing. Most of the families treated her like she was the kids' big sister. It really did pique my interest even more. I was EXCITED!!
It was time to apply but with some exaggeration on the truth.
My friend sent me a well-known nanny agency with great reviews, so I signed up and waited for a family’s response. I didn’t know what the interview process was going to be like but I was ready. Within two days of signing up, three families reached out to me.
“This was easy,” I thought.
The families really admired me and wanted me to start ASAP. Two of them were based in New York as live-out positions, and the other was based in Texas and required me to live with them. I felt more drawn to the live-in position as it was ideal for me to save money on rent. The hours seemed a bit steep but the father assured me that it’ll only be an eight-hour shift with downtime whilst the kids were in school, plus they were to pay for my relocation.
Just a few strange things occurred when I accepted the offer. The parents said two things to me:
I should never say no to the little boy and,
Since they’ve had problems in the past with nannies leaving after a few weeks, they would reimburse me for my flight only if I stayed with them for at least three months.
I truly didn’t mind, three months didn’t seem that long, plus, I would save so much money and be able to afford a reputable editor. What was the worst that could happen?!
Let the journey begin. Saddle up, bitches.
XOXO