Chapter 3
Walking into the dim lights of the local town grocery store, I fall into a haze feeling like eyes were piercing my back from being paranoid. Going straight to the cleaning supplies knowing that whatever happened I would want to clean everything up or more important clean me up. Staring at the beach picturing everything going down in my head but, I didn't have a choice. After this would probably have to leave town, I will never see my parents again or play in the front yard of our cookie cutter home. What I was doing was no longer cookie cutter, bitch I was eating the dough before it got to the oven. Grabbing the bleach and mop with a bucket I make my way to the outdoor supplies. Finally, finding the ponchos and they were even on sale giving me money to buy more cleaning supplies. My choose of ponchos where the pumpkin mascot of the high school or just plain blue, I was feeling sort of blue today so I picked it throwing it in the chart.
“ Ms. Hugs, How are you?”
Turning around to see my neighbor from ever since I had been alive, Mr.G we all called him with his bright white smile and warm personality I didn't know one person who disliked him.
Trying a smile to my face. “ Hi, I’m doing great. How about you?”
Rubbing his got.* “Just grabbing a poncho for the game tonight.”*
My throat dried knowing the words that would be coming next.
“ I bet Blake is excited. There is supposed to be some big recruiters there tonight.”
Slowly pushing my cart away trying to act like I had somewhere to go.
“ He is. See ya later.”
Rushing towards the cash register with lines backed up to the end of the store, this housewife must get busy Gregory shopping while their kids are in school. Standing in line looking at my cart of bleach, mops, sponges, and ponchos I feel my hands tightening up knowing my choices were looking a little suspicious. I ditch the line going back to the makeup aisle picking up anything and everything trying to avoid the attention of cleaning supplies, going to the candy picking up any candy bar you could possibly think of. Getting a sprite on my way to the checkout also picking up a little pain relief of cough syrup to calm me down. The lines had thinned out some, waiting for my turn opening the Twix bar doing a little emotional eating. I see Mr.G walking out the glass doors with his bags of grocery talking and waving at everyone he sees just happy to be alive. I hadn't been happy to be alive in a long time not so long that I had forgotten the feeling of it but, more like I didn't know how someone got to that point and you don't even know you're happy to tell it is all over to feel the pain sitting back in. I slowly start to fall back to my haze of memories again. Making sand castles on the beach with my dad, his still brown hair, and strong warm hands. The kind of hands you love and fear, the kind that gives you a high five as making a basket and brushes the hair out of your face when your mom is panicking that the family picture is not going to turn out right. The kind that holds the shovel that buries the family dog when everybody is crying in the kitchen.
“ Ma’am?”
Blinking my eyes laying my suspicious items to be checked out I tried to act normal. Knowing that I was the only one paying attention to me with the moms behind me talking about which dance class was the best, I felt the panic subsided as she bagged the last grocery. Walking out to my car with the fall crisp air cooling me off from all the panic sweat. Rushing to put all the grocery bags in the car leaving out the sour patch kids and cough syrup. Closing the door to my car turning up the music where I couldn't help me think and thanks to the tinted windows my dad got me no one could see me either. Throwing a couple of sour patch kids in my mouth, trying to rip off the plastic of the cough syrup bottle hand shaking. Finally, getting the packaging off ripping off the lid pouring the purple drug down my throat. Sending it straight down my throat trying to take the taste. Feeling the warmth take over my body coating my throat working it’s way to my stomach. Calming takes over me as I finished the bottle, throwing it out the window driving back to the house hoping the body started smelling. The ride home was a bit of a bare. The cough syrup kicking in sooner than I thought a cold sweat dripped from my brow, I had never taken that much at once before. I could barely drive sober with all this cough syrup in my system making me drowsy didn't help it any. I might have run a reading light. Who the hell know? This was still better than being panicked over every little thing. I made it home pulling into the garage grabbing the sour patch kids stumbling through the door. Walking into the dining room seeing him laying there, every time I walk in I think he will be gone somehow just disappear. Even in death, his lips were still a rosy pink the kind that made all the girls scream, if they only knew what kind of monster he really was they would never go near him. If only someone would have been there to warn Amanda. Beating his stiff chest.
“ You Bastard!” Screaming to the top of my lunges
Water fell down my cheek streaming down to the floor. Picking my shelf up on the dining room chair trying to get to the couch. Laying my heavy head on the cool leather couch wishing that I would overdose or that when I wake up it would all be a dream. I want the last two years to be a dream.
Lights shined in the window waking me up to a puddle of drool under my jaw. Turning off rubbing my eyes to see the ceiling fan spinning, trying to get my thoughts in order sitting up to see the sun had already gone down. Jolting out of my grogginess I run to the dining room to everything just as I had left it. Taking a deep breath running out to the garage grabbing the saw hanging from the wall. Backing the car out of the garage bringing all my supplies of getting rid of a dead body with me. Closing the garage hopefully blocking the chainsaw sound. Grabbing his foot pulling him out the door, his arms and head dragging behind him with every part of me wishing there was another way. Finally, getting him in the garage putting on my poncho and gloves, looking like I was about to give surgery. Never working a saw before I was little scared, pushing the priming button like a lawn morrow I pulled the first crank. Closing my eyes expecting the machine to just take off with me, it didn't even make a sound. Coming back for round two getting at least a sound out of it, the third time was a charm with it starting right up making me jump. Laying out like a fish aiming for his shoulder starting with the limbs. Tiring his shirt pulling back licking my lips looking at the ceiling no knowing if I would be able to do it. My knuckles had turned white from holding on so tight to the chainsaw, closing my eyes feeling the blood splitter on my poncho and in my face. Seeing the bare flesh and his arm cut from his body made my stomach flip. Dropping the saw running to the corner of the garage puking up purple. Wiping my mouth with blood on a check, I looked at my shelf in the door window knowing there is no turning back. I am going to have to get my shit together and finish what I had started. Picking up the saw starting it back up again starting on the arm working my way down to the legs. Blood was spreading everywhere, I had never pictured that there would be this much blood. Cutting off all his fingers and putting them in the burn pile making it harder if they ever found him to identify him. Trying to keep the blood under control I take off my human cutting outfit to collect limbs and twigs in the backyard to start a fire. Running to the kitchen finding lighter fluid and matches I run outside wanting to get out of town before the game ended knowing his buddies would be looking for him. Putting most of the lighter fluid on the tweaks leaving a little to make sure what I need to burn would have a little extra help.
Putting on gloves picking up all ten fingers walking over to the roaring fire. Throwing them all on at once also putting the glove in the fire I drained the whole thing in lighter fluid making the flames reach to the sky. Feeling the sickness come over me again running towards the bushes not even making it before I threw up. My stomach muscles hurt from the torment I had just put it through. Wiping my mouth feeling the dried blood splatters on my face not sure if I could handle any more. I still had to get rid of the other body parts I had cut down, cutting the legs into two pieces also cutting his torso into hoping it would be easier to fit in a trash bag. The thought of it made my stomach rumble, gagging trying to puke again pulling myself back together I remembered something. Going to my dad office filled with his signed baseballs and baseball cards, my dad was an athlete like Blake but in baseball. That's what got him through college, he claimed that swing of his is what got us through the restoration. Getting his keys to his safe in a planet by the window, opening the locked door the first thing you were seen was baseball cards apparently worth more than what he displayed but, they all looked the same to me. Digging under all the worthless stuff making it to the stuff I really wanted. My dad was also a closeted smoker. He never knew that late nights I would see him by the fire pit light one up just enjoying life and looking up at the stars. I found it funny how he tried to protect me from his bad happens also it was funny how stupid he thought Blake and I were. Making my way back to the garage looking at the piles of body parts and blood stain cement. I took a deep breathe picking a cigarette out of the pack stretching a match on the siding of the house. Putting the cigarette in between my teeth taking a deep breath feeling the smoke fill my lungs. Exhaling the dark gray smoke watching as an even darker smoke filled the air with a more sour smell.
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