I am a married woman and madly in love with another man. I've been married for 4.5 years now. My husband and I never had a good relationship apart from the first few months of our marriage. Ours was a love come arranged marriage but all our love faded away too soon.
We came from very different cultures and backgrounds. Our ways of looking at life is very very different. We both are equally responsible for spoiling our married life.
Because of difference in thoughts and ideas, every one of our discussions turned into arguments. And slowly these arguments turned into fights. We started drifting apart. We completely stopped sharing things, reduced our talks and even the physical intimacy was almost absent. He was never there for me when I needed him the most and he never cared about my existence. He didn't need me in his life.
Time flew by and I gave birth to a girl. She is now 2.9 years old. And loves her papa and mamma equally. We have always tired to act normal in front of her. Both of us are working and whatever time we get we spend with our baby girl. My husband and I have already distanced ourselves a lot from each other. He hardly talks to me and falls asleep as soon as he comes to bed.
I had started feeling like a piece of bedding for him. Slowly, I was dying on the inside and just did all the work like a machine without any emotions and I have become like that. Few months back, I came across Jessan and we started interacting. Our choices were similar and we instantly clicked. More than that, he respected me. He loved me and cared for me. With one look at me, he'd tell my feelings. With my simple 'hello', he could tell what my mood was like.
I felt loved, respected, cared for in his presence. He was exactly the way I'd wanted my man to be. More than that, he taught me to value myself. He made me feel like a woman.
Very quickly this friendship turned into a serious love story. Few days back, my husband found our chat and he told me that he'd never expected this out of me. He clearly told me that he never loved me and will never love me again. At the same time, Jessan is ready to accept me and my daughter. I am not able to convince my husband nor am I able to leave him.
I have to now choose between the most important relationships in my life and I only have three options. One, stay in my marriage as a social obligation and lead a lifeless life. Two, move out of the marriage and be a part of Jessan's life. Third option is I dissolve my marriage and be a single parent.