Keto Babe Rocks Lands On Steemit

Dear fellow food and diet addicts on Steemit. I'm an alien who voluntarily incarnated on this realm as a fat kid. My current coordinates are 33.8688° S, 151.2093° E (Sydney, Australia). After arriving I realized that living with humans was going to be far more difficult than I originally thought. Living in a fat suit basically guaranteed that I was going to be teased and bullied by other living beings with a low body fat percentage for the rest of my life, or until I discovered a way to reduce the fat on my body so that I could conform to an acceptable human standard.

Humans have been programmed to believe that if you're fat, you must be worthless. According to them, fat people are also weak, lack self-control, and aren't very intelligent. I recently asked my Earth realm mother why she fed me so much food when I was a baby. She told me that I was always hungry and cried because I wanted more food. She was left with the option to either stuff more cake into my mouth to shut me up or allow me to continue screaming my head off until I got what I wanted. Cake was the obvious choice.

Ever seen an 8 year old kid who was 9 months pregnant?

You have now.

My sister was thin and always used to pretend that she was swallowing her food at the dinner table. When my parents thought she was done, she would run outside and spit out the food she was storing in her mouth in the backyard garden. As for me, I'd clean up the plate and go for seconds. I loved most food, especially if it was sweet (and unfortunately still do). I never was a big meat-eater and preferred eating carbohydrate-rich, grain-based dishes and desserts. Back then I had no clue that excess sugar (carbohydrates) was the reason why I steadily continued to gain weight.

"Hurry up and take the damn photo so I can eat this cake!"

I got tired of being bullied by hordes of evil zombies while I was at primary school so went on my first diet when I started high school. I was 13 at the time. It was a simple diet that required me to obsessively count and consume approximately 1,200 calories daily of any food that I liked. The highest weight I reached when I was a kid was 72kg (158.7lbs) and less than a year later I managed to lose 17kg (37.5lbs). At this point my metabolism was still in working order so it wasn't too difficult to lose the excess weight.

Now that I was thin, guys liked me and because so, I ignorantly jumped into the hell world of relationships with abusive men without thinking twice. I even bleached my hair blonde because that's what men like, right? Men have been programmed to want what the media portrays as the "perfect woman" - a submissive bimbo who will drop to her knees whenever they click their fingers, cook, clean, slave, and look like a supermodel even when she's taking a dump. I got into my first abusive relationship with a man when I was only 16, and left him 2 years later when I met a guy who I thought was my "soul mate".

After 10 years of being psychologically tortured and abused by the man of my dreams, I planned my escape. I was either going to have to leave the country, commit suicide, or wait until my boyfriend killed me. I chose to leave Australia and start a new life in America.

I got married 2 weeks after I landed in Las Vegas to some guy I was speaking to on the internet. I was happy because I thought American men were different than the abusive losers in Australia. I was wrong. What made things worse was that I was living with a mother-in-law who wanted to "pimp" me out to casinos so I could finance her gambling addiction. I rebelled by getting a job at a tattoo studio and covering myself with more tattoos. That way no casino would employ me and I couldn't make big bucks for "mom" and her son. Vegas cocktail waitresses and dancers were brainless buffoons. I wanted to be the female version of Marilyn Manson and start my own business.

I lived in California for 8 years and during that time built a successful art business. The men I got involved with were not only mentally and physically abusive, but also now began to use me for my money and connections. How much worse can things get?

The last guy I dated in California conned me into supporting him and his daughter. On top of that, he moved his friend and one of my employees into our house. I was working 12-16 hour days, 7 days a week, and supporting a household full of lazy and disrespectful imbeciles. The stress of running a business and being used for every dollar made me sick so I started gaining weight again. This time I ballooned to 105kg (231.5lbs) and finally reached my breaking point. A switch flipped in my head and I experienced a dramatic and life-changing spiritual awakening.

In 2007 I attended the Hollywood premiere of "Zeitgeist" (above) and then a few months later left my gold-digging boyfriend and his daughter in pursuit of the truth. Now that I was awake, I was hoping to find a man who was on my level, loved the truth as much as I did, and wanted to settle down with me permanently. You'd think that waking up from this dream we call "reality" and realizing that you're not from here would also automatically entail being led to your "twin flame", the one who you're supposed to be with until the cows come home, or eternity. No chance. My mission on Earth was not yet completed.

I met some dude who used to be in the Air Force but was now a devoted Christian ... "but not that kind of Christian". I didn't exactly know what he meant by that but thought he was intelligent in other ways and loved the fact that he knew that "9/11 was an inside job".

I was tired of the superficial LA scene and sick to death of all the backstabbing, lying and ass-kissing. Not my style. I lost 35kg (77lbs) on my latest diet, gave everything I owned to the poor, and bid California farewell with my middle finger. I organized a cross-country trip to Alaska, where I was planning to go "into the wild" and live off the grid with my new Christian/conspiracy theorist guy and closet psychopath.

After I moved to Alaska I started feeling a weird vibe coming from the Christian. He began to act strange and switch personalities right in front of my eyes. Approximately 7 months after meeting him, he tried to murder me and then made a run for it and left me stranded in the middle of Alaska. I discovered that he stole $10,000 from my bank account and the $5,000 cash I had stashed in our apartment. I called my parents in Australia and told them I was coming home.

One year after returning back to Australia I gained 66kg (145.5lbs). I had a hard time believing that I signed up for this shyte. I was trying to track down the psychopath so I could file for divorce from Australia and on top of that was dealing with people who I hadn't seen in years, had no clue who I was or what I've been through. Three years later, unusual (supernatural?) circumstances led me to meeting another guy who vowed that our destiny was to be together. I flew him to Australia from the US and we got married a short while later. Two years later I called the police when he flew into a rage and started throwing things around my house. He then left Australia and moved back with his mom in the US.

I was stressed out of my mind, I couldn't lose all the weight I had gained, and I was getting sicker by the day. I prayed for death. I wanted to get off this hell planet and go home. I flew to Africa to get away and look for the "meaning of life". A short while later the abusive boyfriend I previously dated in Australia for 10 years (the "guy of my dreams") found me online after 15 years and begged me to get back with him. He told me that he was a changed man and apologized for everything that he put me through. I told him that I was currently living in Africa and would contact him after I returned to Australia. We ended up reuniting and after 2 years I found out that he was leading a double life. He was living with a prostitute and his illegitimate love child, and seeing me at the same time.

That was 2 years ago. I am no longer interested in relationships and dating abusive men. My blog on #Steemit and accompanying videos on D.Tube tell my life story. I'm a #vegan whose goal is to recover from all the trauma. This will naturally then result in permanent weight loss and complete restoration of my health.