What good would a sunny day be without the rainy ones? This sentiment is something I've always had to remind myself of while my psyche gets tossed around like a small boat in a hurricane by the cycle of mania and depression I generally succumb to. Although hard times are felt often and the depression can be downright crippling at times I'm blessed to have the spurts of mania and creativity that comes with it. Perhaps my humour and artistry is a mask to cover the incredible sadness and emptiness I seem to have inhabiting my being, perhaps creating joy in others helps alleviate the constant pain and sorrow that stalks mt mind.. Who knows..

I found a piece of spoken word or writing by Ashe Vernon and figured I'd share it here in hopes that more people might resonate or understand what some artists go through in their day to day life. This is not my own work below... But needed to be shared:

When they talk about the tortured genius,
somebody always brings up van gogh—
how he swallowed yellow paint because
he wanted to put the sunshine inside himself.
how his psychosis was probably
the result of lead poisoning.
they call him a miracle, but what i see is a man
who was so sad, he found a beautiful way
to kill himself.
 
they say, “it’s awful isn’t it?” they say,
“it’s always the talented ones who go before their time.”
and me, a nine year old kid
who’s always been told they were so talented, wonders when i am going to die.
 
we study them in school, the tortured artists.
look at all the poets who killed themselves
what would their work have been without their depression?
if it's beautiful, isn’t it sad?
as if depression is a parlor trick—
pull it out at parties, impress all your friends.
as if depression isn’t seeing how long
you can go between showers
before somebody notices or
pizza rolls for dinner three nights in a row
and then nothing the night after,
because going to the store is an impossibility
that you have not yet gathered the courage to conquer.
 
it is the least beautiful thing i’ve ever seen
and we call it the mark of an artist
to stand in the center of an ocean
and see nothing but desert.
to be seated at a feast, but still
swallowing sand.
 
depression is the yellow paint, the yellow paint,
the yellow paint, the yellow paint, the
yellow paint, the yellow paint, the yellow
paint, the yellow paint, the yellow paint—
 
art is a coping mechanism.
van gogh is good because when he had nothing,
he had paint. when he was empty, he had paint.
when the world was awful, he had paint.
when he hated himself, he didn’t hate the paint.
he whitewashed over his own masterpieces,
because it was never about being famous,
it was about doing the one thing
that made sense when everything else didn’t.
 
and they say, “without his illness, we
never would have gotten all—this.”
because they value his art more than his sanity
because god forbid you lead a happy life
and leave nothing to remember you by.
 
— VINCENT, by Ashe Vernon

Depression is not a Death Sentence

Let's face it, we're all going to die eventually anyways, and the beauty in this life is that we're doomed from birth to cease to exist at some point in time. While we're here it's up to us to enrich our own lives by enriching those around ourselves. This is why I art, this is why I tell jokes and this is why I haven't offed myself yet.. The ability to make those around me happy ultimately is what keeps me drawn to this existence and frankly I wouldn't change that for the world. It's ok to be depressed, cynical, upset and deranged.. But always remember that you have the ability to change this and with change comes the potential for happiness.

Keep on creating, falling in love and living..
Because each day could be your last and tomorrow isn't a certainty.

---

VOTE @KLYE FOR WITNESS!

_{Every Single Vote Helps, Thanks for the Support!}

●▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬●
Need to get in Contact with KLYE?
Join the Official #KLYE Channel on Steem.Chat