Forcing The Steps Needed to Unfuck My Life

Man, Life can be a box of fuckups sometimes.. Although in order to taste any sort of success sometimes you just have to bite into the fuckups, tear them apart and drink the sweet sweet success nectar hidden inside. Without struggle and failure one wouldn't know how success even tastes. You got to have the negatives to the perfect picture to truly appreciate it.

My life sort of fell apart over the course of this year.. Went from having basically anything I want, no cares or worries to basically ending up fucked because the dumbass in charge of steering my life seemingly fell asleep at the wheel. Between a string of terrible luck and becoming to comfortable just coasting along what once felt like an unstoppable thriving empire in the making lays nearly in rubble. But like the mythical phoenix bird and its legend of being reborn from the fiery ashes of its own demise I to shall rise from this terrible circumstance I've seemingly fallen into. No other choice really, it isn't in my nature to grasp at my potential only to fade away as a "has been" and become some obscure character.

Admittedly my own self defeated attitude landed me where I am now. No one has to tell me that I fell off the wagon and got run over by the tires. I know full well that my inability to focus and resettle after losing my house and most of my possessions to mould put me where I am now. Rather than facing my problems head on and ensuring my own continuity looking back on it all now what happened was nothing short of me giving up on my dreams and aspirations. Part of me simply wanted to die I think, perhaps part of me still does.. I don't really know. Guess that comes with being a mad man that has more than a touch of depression at times.

In retrospect I am grateful to have recovered my health after becoming sick and having life fall apart on me. The slip into turmoil has certainly taken a toll on my psyche but at the end of the day I've simply got to "man the fuck up" and try to rekindle the fire inside of myself that drove my STEEM engine (har har har) forward at a rate it once cruised.

While I'm certainly not at my best right now and have a metric fuckton of things stacked against me with the odds tilting towards failure simply put I cannot give up. I need to find a way to recollect the remnants of my possessions scattered around, attempt to set up an office again and hopefully find a suitable place to work. While I'm not outside on the streets it's sort of getting to the point where I'm currently located that I may be stretching my welcome. Oh well, surely will look back on all this horse shit one day and view it as a minor bump on a long road to awesomeness.