Syria is my country a homeland for many years I never really understood for I had grown up and related else where in this world. I had what I can only consider now a privilege, a chance to be part of this far away world, and live among those i had only the opportunity to hear my father tell tales and fond stories about.
I spent my best years here mingling with knowledge and understanding for pain, watching those closest to me bow to tyranny only because they knew nothing else
I wanted to flee but then came that husk of the wind that gave me hope that I could stay here and be a willing part of this world.
A moment came where freedom suddenly became a reality in the midst of what seemed to be permanent authority that would never let us breath. The revolution was my savior my only way forward. Could I love once again without the scent of its breeze? The Arab Spring had began and I was here to witness it all..
I knew at his moment I could never retreat and that those I had met in this revolution would become the essence of my plight. I loved those, those that stood before me and watched with ache as the loyal to our oppressor tortured me with their hate. I was tortured literally with their hate.
This is who I had become now, a man with nothing left but the reverberations of my newly formed history. I love them all; the people who joined me in this sacrifice. I thought for them more than I had thought for my daughter, hence another burden I would face in this all.
And so I now conclude:
We can express to ourselves that we are devoted to the principles we believe in but when we are faced with our burdens the mistakes we have made make us question our selves;
Why did I do it? Because I wanted justice for those I love? Or because I wanted revenge for the abuse I endured myself?
I'm not going to find out sitting here with hypocrites who complain about the current situation. My answer will only be found once I resist my selfish self and join the plight for something real.. Something else.
I apologize to all the loved ones of those who have perished at the feet of treason. And I ask that hey forgive me once they are satisfied that I too have sacrifice, forgive me then, for then and now I will always have sinned.
I will be there this time to endure it all, and if I am not.. Be better than I and forgive me once more...
Thank you for reading this and what I have left to say; long live the dream of a free Syria, even if it's far from reality in the midst of all this shame.