Relationships take an entirely different turn after marriage. Some couples get tired of rekindling their love relationship, their desire to be with each other goes down, this happens in most cases when children come in or both couples get too busy with work to fend for themselves and fend for their children.
One thing married couples usually forget is that marriage is the highest form of any romantic relationship and as such will need more work and commitment to keep that attraction or butterflies they felt in their stomach when they initially met and to enjoy a healthy, long lasting relationship.
As a couple, what are the things you need to do to maintain the attraction and enjoy a healthy, long lasting relationship?
1. Don't get too used to your partner:
Definitely you now live with your partner under the same roof and surely you would get to know them inside out. By not getting too used to your partner, I don't mean you should not get to know them well, I mean you should not get too used to them by continuing to do those things that got them attracted to you in the first place.
Example,When you were dating her, you usually get the door for her, you accompany her to the market so that you can assist with the load, but when you got married to her, you now leave her to do these things by herself,she starts complaining and it becomes a problem.
Another example, when you were dating him, you were always conscious about your looks and your weight. You dress well and you usually visit the gym to keep your weight in check, but when you got married to him, you now care less about your looks and you are gaining too much weight, since your looks was one of the attraction for him, he starts complaining and it becomes a problem.
The point is, don't get too used to your partner, continue to do those things that attracted you to them in the first place.
2.Be nice, treat your partner better than a friend.
Your partner is both a friend and a lover, so you should treat them better than a friend. Being nice to your partner may not be easy especially if they do things that irritate you, but it's something that you have to deliberately and consciously do. When your partner makes a foolish error, don't go nagging, scolding, arguing and criticizing them. You can try teasing them or laughing at their actions just like you would do with a friend.
Some of the irritations couples also deal with is leaving dirty clothes or socks on the floor, wearing dirty shoes into the house. If you have got a partner that is like the above mentioned, you can deal with the irritation without nit-picking and nagging. Nagging even puts your partner on the defensive, but talking to them nicely creates an opportunity for them to change.
If he keeps leaving his dirty clothes and socks on the floor,keeps wearing his dirty shoes inside the house, talk to him nicely. Something like "it takes me time and energy to clean and arrange the house but it will only take you few minutes to pick up your clothes or remove your shoes before you enter the house, it upsets me when you don't pick up your clothes or socks and wear your dirty shoes into the house". Not wearing your shoes into the house or picking up your clothes might come naturally to you but it might not come naturally to your partner, remember people are different and your upbringing was different from his. You need to be patient and keep reminding him nicely. With time you would see positive results. Whatever happens, treat your partner nicely.
3. Do not ignore your relationship with your partner because of your kids.
When kids start coming, it's only natural that they would begin to take up more of your time and attention. However little, you have to deliberately create time to spend with your partner alone. Your partner should still be the most important person in your life, afterall you loved them enough to have kids with them. One day, your kids will be above 20 and they will have to leave the house to start their own life and if you have spent your whole life on your kids alone, you will feel really miserable when they leave. Create time every week to go on a treat alone with your spouse, your kids should be able to see that you guys had a life even before they came and after they are gone, you both will still have a life,that way they will also feel confident when they are leaving your house.
Having said all this, I believe marriage is a life long commitment and if you can fix these three things, you are on your way to enjoying a healthy and long lasting relationship with your partner.
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