"Right, something to do…” I said to myself as I looked through maps.me to find something local to see. Eventually I found two not very well advertised places very nearby my mum’s house; one was a church and the other was a mosque. So I thought I’d make a day trip out of it, then go home and celebrate by jumping in the swimming pool as if I was entitled to it or something…

Hold on fucknugget, you said a cave temple, not a church.

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I know, but when I got to the entrance of the ‘church’ I realised pretty quickly it wasn’t a church and was something very Thai. It worked out far better than planned actually, as it was far more beautiful than a small kind of church which was what I expected.

So I cycled down a dirt road, not really sure if I’d gone down private property and was about to be shot. So I cycled tentatively ready to wave in apology and swiftly turn around if a guy chewing straw came out with a shotgun. These fears were diffused when a tuk tuk driver drove erratically past me in the other direction, grinning wildly as he did so. After about 500-600 metres of a windy stone path I came to the entrance, and waltzed in.

A dog army soon was on me. Their scout gave the signal I’d arrived and howled at the non existent moon (It was midday). Then the gang set up a wall where I was heading. There were three Thai people eating lunch who didn’t seem to care, so at least I knew that it wasn’t private property. I asked them in Thai where I could go and they told me which parts were off limits. However they were so happy I spoke Thai that they offered me a seat to have lunch with them. I declined, but appreciated the gesture.

I went into the cave temple, took some pictures like a rockstar and came back out again. The cave temple is exactly what you think it would be; a temple built inside a cave. I saw one last year in Chiang Dao and thought it was really cool how they had utilised nature to their advantage instead of destroying it and building something random. It was also really cool in temperature as it is sheltered from the sun. Also I don’t have a masters in Science but I think that rock is a conductor of heat. (Is that right…? It sounds right. I was never that good at Science…) It other words, it keeps the place cool even though it was outside. I stayed and strategically recovered from the heat outside, which was a painful 35 degrees.

Then I stroked one of the dogs (The other dogs hated me. I think they were jealous I had chosen my warrior and it wasn’t them…) before heading further into the distance. The people said I could go even though it looked a bit out of bounds. There were a few small nature walks there which I went on and won.

Not up these steps, this was someone's house. Most likely the three Thai people who were eating...

“Oh, you can go up the steps as well!” The Thai’s said to me. Well, no, that’s a lie. But they said the Thai equivalent. The steps were right at the start of the temple to the right. They were rock steps built into the cave and were clearly unfinished, but I went up as far as I could without breaking an important bone. I took a few pictures of the view and headed towards phase two of my cunning plan; the mosque.

It was really hard to find, so I half expected it to be a small mosque with hardly anyone there and I was right. In fact there was one guy in a car looking at me like I was mental, wondering why I was taking photos of this tiny mosque in the middle of nowhere. I like mosques though; I like the architectural structure of them and find the passion of the religion itself really fascinating. Pretty much every mosque I have been to while travelling does not allow non-Muslims inside though, so I’ve only seen the inside of one or two mosques.

And that was it! In case you are wondering why there are mosques in Thailand it is because Phang-Nga is in the south of Thailand, and the south has a heavy Malay influence. I cycled home, jumped in the pool and tried to justify to myself that this was a productive day. Oh well, I’ll make up for it when I write another book…

• Recently posted on my Sirlewisofclarke Wordpress blog: https://sirlewisofclarke.wordpress.com/2019/03/10/phang-nga-again-the-cave-temple-and-the-local-mosque/