Read the PART 1 HERE
GOD'S PURPOSE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
In Ephesians 5:31-32, the Apostle Paul tells us that marriage is a mystery : "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church." By mystery, he meant a natural thing designed by God to signify a spiritual matter. So marriage is a mystery because it is intended, in the design of God, to point out the union of Christ and the Church.
We understand from this scripture that the true purpose of marriage is to show forth God's glory. Marriage is patterned after Christ's covenant relationship with His redeemed people, the church. Therefore, the highest meaning and the ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and His Church on display. That is why marriage exists. If you are married, that is why you are married. If you hope to be married, that should be your dream.
A Christian marriage is meant to provide the world with a picture of Christ's love for the church (the called-out ones): "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. No man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord cherisheth the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones" (Ephesians 5- 28-30). Having this understanding makes you realize that the greatest goal in your marriage is not just about meeting your needs (although it's part of it) or being happy. It is not even about being or staying in love as coulpes. It is reflecting God's love to the world, thereby glorifying Him.
In His deep love for humanity, Jesus died on the cross of Calvary to purchase our redemption and our freedom.
Romans 5:8 - But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
Such deep love for humanity is what marriage is designed to portray. Someone said;
"God intended for the marriage relationship to be the hallmark of the Christian home. The love relationship between husband and wife should provide the clearest picture of Christ's love. The model it provides to children, the church, and the world would effectively draw others to the love of Christ."
When sinners see pure, perfect love and unity among Christian couples, they will understand the deep love Christ has for them and be drawn to Him.
SATAN'S PLOT TO DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE
Satan's aim is to undermine God's glory anywhere, anytime. Hence, he goes all out to destroy the marriage union. Laurel and Chris in our short story were married for sixteen months, but the spark in their marriage had vanished months ago. The sweet conversations that once marked their relationship had been replaced with constant bickering. Their laughter had dulled, their distance had grown, their physical intimacy had almost ceased, and their friendship had died ultimately.
What had gone wrong? How had Satan slipped into this young couple's marriage? As you would have noticed, he didn't interrupt their marriage plan nor stop it altogether. He allowed them to make it to the altar, and after they had said, "I do" to each other, he began his work. _What strategy did he use to ruin the marriage? _ He pitched the partners against each other.
Unfortunately, Laurel and Chris' story is all too familiar. Some Christian marriages are on the rock today because of constant bickering between the partners, and this is one of the strategies of the devil. We are not suggesting here that the devil is the one responsible for all of the awful things you do to cause problems in your home and exonerating you from blame. But we are saying he can tempt you to do them, if you're not on your guard. After all, the Bible says, "Your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5:8 ), and if you are sober and vigilant, he'll use you to devour your own marriage.
I list here some of the tools Satan uses to attack Christian marriages
NEGLECT: The same couple that spent all their courting time together grows apart after the wedding day. The neglect is usually subtle though.
BLAME: That's what Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden, and what we often do. "When it's not my fault, I don't have to worry about changing, " we often say. "My spouse is the one that should change."
SELFISHNESS: Too often, couples vow to commit themselves to one another until death separate them during their wedding ceremony, but then live as if the other does not exist after the wedding.
SECRETS: Anytime you hide anything from your spouse, Satan wins in some way. Honesty breaks the strongholds of the devil.
ANGER: Uncontrolled, unleashed anger can destroy the bond between you and your spouse.
PRAYERLESSNESS: If you don't pray together as a couple, you miss an opportunity to strengthen your marriage. In fact, your prayerlessness says you can handle your marriage without God's help and assistance, and that is a big mistake. Remember this:
A COUPLE THAT PRAYS TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER! !
- PORNOGRAPHY: ( 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7).
1 Thessalonians 4:3 God wants you to live a pure life. Keep yourselves from sexual promiscuity.
1 Thessalonians 4:4 Learn to appreciate and give dignity to your body,
1 Thessalonians 4:5 not abusing it, as is so common among those who know nothing of God.
1 Thessalonians 4:6 Don't run roughshod over the concerns of your brothers and sisters. Their concerns are God's concerns, and he will take care of them. We've warned you about this before.
1 Thessalonians 4:7 God hasn't invited us into a disorderly, unkempt life but into something holy and beautiful - as beautiful on the inside as the outside.
Increasingly, both males and females struggle with this sin that reduces human beings to an image and implies that our spouses are not good enough for us.
FINANCIAL DISPUTES: That happens especially when you live for wealth and security, most often doing so at the expense of spending quality and quantity time with your spouse. Don't forget that the love of money is the root cause of every kind of evil you can ever think of.
LACK OF PHYSICAL INTIMACY:
1 Corinthians 7:3 -- The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality - the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:4 -- Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.
1 Corinthians 7:5 -- Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting - but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it.
If you are fighting, the last thing you want is to be intimate with each other. Conflict is a barrier to intimacy in marriage. It makes the two partners not one but two, and one of God's purposes for physical intimacy in marriage is to foster "oneness" or "unity" ( Genesis 2:24). If you don't have regular intimacy as a couple, you are allowing a barrier to come between you.
WORKAHOLISM: If you love your job and pour yourself into it, to the detriment of your family, you will have conflict in your. Many of us get so engrossed in our jibs that we forget about our spouses which is not good.
LYING:
Colossians 3:9 Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire.
Lying destroys trust in marriage. A spouse lies because he is trapped and does not want to have his sin or crime exposed. Confess your sin to your spouse, and ask for forgiveness.
Some of the problems in marriages are also caused by external forces (some influenced by the devil) such as in-laws' interference, delay in childbearing, and insecurity. Ordinarily, these problems should not ruin a Christian marriage because God is on hand to take care them, but your negative reactions to them tear your marriage apart.
YOUR ROLE IN MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK
From the foregoing, it is clear that the success of your marriage lies in your hand. If you will deliberately resist the devil and show forth God's glory in your marriage, you will definitely have a blissful relationship. Below are useful tips to make your marriage work:
- GOOD COMMUNICATION: Communication is a special milestone in building a successful marriage. Good communication promotes healthy relationship. As a good wife, you should know when to talk to your husband and when to be quiet. Be discrete, courteous, and follow the example of Sarah in 1 Peter 3:6. Be mindful of your speech and communication gestures, postures and tone. If you want your marriage to work, you must know how to choose the right words, gesture, posture and tone when talking to your husband.
Failure in this area, can result in communication breakdown, because your spouse may be offended by what you say or the way you react. Pray more, talk less, and have your mood under control.
- SUBMISSION AND HONOUR: Submission to your husband is God's command. It doesn't matter if he is a good man or not; you must submit to him.
Ephesians 5:21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.
This minimizes conflicts in the home considerably and promotes peace and harmony among couples. A godly wife will recognize her husband as the head, give him the due respect and honour, make him feel special all the time and won't wound his ego. Respect your husband's wishes and avoid arguments. Never compare him with another man because every man is unique. Above all, rely on God to teach you the best way to make him happy.
- MAINTAIN A GODLY HOME: Let Christ be the head ,counsellor and guide of your home. Only He can bring lasting peace and joy there. A Christian home is a good medium for spreading the Gospel. Let strangers, family and friends see Jesus in your life and home. Live a godly lifestyle. Let the light of Christ shine in your home.
CONCLUSION :
Having said all these things, you must hold on to God and His promises concerning your marriage. Be obedient to His commandments and He will perfect that which concerns you. If you are not a Christian couple, become one now. Confess your sins to Him, and ask Him for pardon. He will cleanse you, help you straighten out your life and work out your marriage.
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