I had some time yesterday to watch one of the best movies of all times, nay, a privilege.
That movie is called:
Shredded guy fights big fish
Or the official title: THE MEG!
Just so you know im spoiling this movie. :D
The movie stars Jason Statham and a bunch of cannon fodder. You have a cute small asian guy that gets heroically eaten in a submarine at the start. You have a eccentric douchy billionaire that dies in a "deserving death", a fat white guy that gets swallowed when a big Meg eats a small one. A few sacrifices and touching father daughter scene and a bunch of PG13 deaths.
I almost forgot about one more important thing and thats a service announcement that killing sharks for their fins is bad. Didnt know that was a thing but anyways, the guys that do it got eaten ofc.
So what about the movie?
Well its fine i guess for what it is. It seems to me that Hollywood noticed that tying a action star to a terrible premise works. I mean The Rock had a number of nonsense movies that earned a lot of money like the Rampage thing so i guess this was just Jason Stathams time to shine.
If you are expecting a "Jaws" kind of suspense horror you will be sorrily dissapointed. The suspense is really non existent and its really like they are telegraphing you when the next death will happen. Not one of the deaths is gruesome or shocking and for the amount of caring you have for the characters you will probably laugh at them dying.
The movie as a movie is not great, but you can have fun watching it.
Really the best, most ridiculous part comes at the end, and i have to spoil this because the movie really is predictable from the start to finish. I mean i basically knew the whole plot from start to end from minute 1.
What i didnt expect is how ridiculous the end will be.
See a normal movie would have some kind of realistic scenario where they kill the shark with harpoons, or by explosives, or something, but noooooo...
Heres how it happens...
SPOILERS!
Jason Statham is sitting in his submarine with rocket launchers (Yes they have rocket launchers), face to face with the Meg, he looks at it menacingly, come and get me, tries to fire the rocket but the rocket malfunctions of course. haha
So he turns and runs, this submarine moving like a TIE fighter in the water, and cuts the Meg across its whole body with the fin of his Sub, but when trying to escape the shark catches the sub in its mouth and is cracking the glass dome.
Before it breaks completely Jason gets out and he is mad now!
And i kid you not, he jumps on the shark, stabs it in its eye with a harpoon and the shark jumps 50 meters from to water in the air Jason still hanging on.
The Meg falls down in the water and 100s of normal size sharks come from nowhere and eat it. A great white actually swims out from the inside of its mouth, i assume through its gut wound.
And there you have it..
Would i recommend this? Maybe if you are hanging with your friends and have a few beers prior. You will laugh your butt off. :D
SCORE: