My life as a single mother with 4 children.
When I was a child my parents broke up my brother tried to take over the father's role in the family, my mother got a new boyfriend and was only in the pub, my brother and my sister and I had to take care of ourselves .
My brother beat me very often and I did not want to live like that anymore.
I was 18. I learned through my father a boy who could possibly help me with a job and a house.
I accidentally became pregnant with him I was not in love with him and he certainly was not my type either.
I had told my mother about my pregnancy, she wanted to decorate a room for her first grandchild.
The father of the baby absolutely did not want this.
Later that day he came drunk,
he threatened me with a baseball bat that he would beat the baby out of my stomach if the baby did not grow up with his parents where he still lived.
The next day the father of the baby went to work. In the meantime I had informed my father about the situation.
That same day I fled to a women's shelter where I sat for a month and eventually went back to live with my mother.
I had a nice pregnancy with my mother and she was not often in the pub anymore.
It was the intention to give birth in the hospital but unfortunately it was too late to go to the hospital.
My daughter Amber (now 15) has been born healthy.
I felt quite alone when I saw other people doing everything together as a family and wanted this for Amber as well.
I called the father to tell him that he had a daughter.
He wanted to come by to look at the baby.
He wanted to continue as a family, he told me and he wanted to marry me.
A few weeks later I lived with him again with his parents and he promised me that we had something for ourselves to live in very quickly.
After a month we lived in a mobile home.
The father of Amber still drank quite a lot and promised me to stop drinking, but this did not happen.
I was not only allowed to do my shopping I was alone at home with Amber all days and when her father was home he just screamed to Amber that it was not his daughter.
it even happened once that he wanted to give her the bottle, but Amber did not want to know anything about him.
One night we went into my brother's city and his girlfriend and their baby were there too.
the father of Amber was drinking a lot again we were in a games hall where you also had a pub I had already said a few times that I wanted to go home because it was late and he was already very drunk he got mad at me he thought I had fooled him at the bar.
I walked away from him with Amber in the buggy. He then followed me and I thought he wanted to hit me but suddenly I saw a lot of blood through my pants he had stabbed me with a knife.
I was so scared of him I had to keep my mouth shut and I had to blame another person I do not even know or even exist.
I was not allowed to tell his parents what had happened.
His mother died and he was so upset that he was going to drink more.
I turned out to be pregnant with our second child.
I was not allowed to go outside alone and I was not allowed to talk to anyone. The only thing I had to do was to make sure that the food was on the table when he and his father got out of work.
One day the food was not ready when he came home he kicked me in my back with his work shoes with steel nose.
I then had to go to the doctor because I spontaneously lost blood.
Fortunately, everything was okay with the baby.
I was about 5 to 6 months pregnant and then you can see on the ultrasound if it is a girl or a boy we got a boy !!
to be continued....