
I stared at the ceiling, she stared right back, not blinking even once. On most nights, we were in this staring contest, and she would always win. Her wins, which made my losses, didn't upset me because, she was a good companion. In these eerie hours, she is the only one I have to talk to, the last thing I see before I finally fall into a dreamless sleep, and the first thing I see, when I wake up late the next morning.
The elusion of sleep was one thing, and the restlessness of the night, was another, even though they worked together to make my head seem like a madhouse. The regrets, the mistakes, missed oppurtunities, wrong turns, the could haves, the would haves, and the should haves, all swirling around, and screaming to be heard like an army of rioters.
I would ask "why me?" but a voice reminds me, if not you then who? True, as it turns out, I wouldn't wish this problem on anyone. I've found that I can't run away because this is my habitat, and I've never been one to run from a fight. So, I stay on, night after night, with those who have come to be my companions. The ceiling, who always lends a listening ear, the mattress, who I sink into like an anchor in the sea, the pillow, who serves as a collector for the tears that I cry on most nights. In solidarity we stand, as creatures of the night. Together we survive each nightfall.
Lucent Britex.