i no longer believe in the person who writes this

i no longer believe in the person who writes this

well, are you proud of loving god, and are you proud of loving all?
are you proud of no longer believing in the fall?
are you proud of, well who the fuck are you?
all i know is that you no longer absorb the blue
emotions that are floating in the air,
and i know that she said once that she doesn’t care,
but she does; she is the lover of your life.
god promised me that she would be my wife.
well, maybe he lied. no, he doesn’t lie.
no. why do i feel like i just want to die?
why do i feel like i am almost dying?
maybe it’s because she is leaving; crying
is the only thing that i can think of doing.
what about the dreams that i thought i would be pursuing?
are they gone, do they not even exist?
what happened to the thoughts that i should persist?
if my thoughts could assist me, i think they would,
but nothing inside of this head of mine is ever good.
if i surrender to lord; give my all and confess,
i’d clean up all the mess
that i’ve created in my mind;
a place in which it’s easy to find
a dilema; a problem that arises.
i no longer believe in the person who writes this.