Growing up as a Nigerian kid was a different sort of adventure for me, I was equipped with bizarre superstitions, great fantasies, and events that seem totally silly upon later reflection. But then they were as genuine as Jollof rice at a Sunday gathering. I laugh now at a few things I did as a youngster.
****Avoid saying more if whistling at night calls spirits.
I am unsure who began this, but every Nigerian youngster was once told not to whistle at night unless they wished to call ghosts. And let me assure you, I heeded it seriously. I would bolt within should anybody even try to whistle after evening, sure that 'something' was going to show itself. Now I realize it was just one of those scare tactics grownups used to make us act.
****The Great Swallowing Fear.
Eat an orange seed, and an orange tree will sprout in your stomach. That was my very worst terror growing up. Thinking I could ‘flush’ it out before it started germinating, the day I unwittingly ingested one I began to drink water violently. I even went to sleep in a fetal posture hoping it wouldn't get room to expand.
****Mum Said You Should Give Me Trick, mainly for last born.
Using this famous line, Mama said you should give me bread or My mummy said I should collect biscuit"—we all are guilty of trying to gather extra treats. It occasionally worked on unassuming passersby and even shopkeepers. But the punishment that came later, the result would be enough to scrap the plan for life.
****Dispersing Powder in the Air As Nollywood Native Doctor
Who else used their mum's powder to "do juju" ? I was convinced at one point that uttering incantations while blowing white powder into the air would bestow me with magic abilities. If my younger self only knew I was just wasting good powder, I would combine baby powder with sand, toss it in the air, and scream "Disappear! Turn into stone!
****Hiding Under the Bed to Escape Chores.
Once I thought my mom would forget I had errands if she couldn't see me. Whenever she began yelling for help, then, I would hide under the bed or behind the curtain. Mothers have a sixth sense; this is humorous. My legs were already going to the kitchen before she uttered my name in a specific tone. She would just call my name.
****Struggling to peel beans fast only to finish eating Akara late.
My siblings and I would vie that day to find out who could peel beans the swiftest for akara or moi-moi. We would make a wreck, spill water all around, then ultimately the akara would take ages to fry. I would be so exhausted by the time we at last ate that I wouldn't even be able to truly appreciate it.
****Crying When Frontdesk Will Have Damaged My Christmas Dress
As a Nigerian, Christmas dresses were really serious business child. My mother would take me to the tailor weeks before Christmas and I might see myself looking fly. Then the tailor would totally miss the design, and I would weep like my fate had been robbed. Those ones, what I ordered vs. what I acquired were actual suffering!
****Leaping over fireworks, convinced I was a superhero.
Bangers (fireworks) were the ultimate fun during Christmas or New Year celebrations. Thinking we were the next Spider-Man, the bravest among us would vault over knockouts. There was always that one unfortunate day when the firework would backfire and almost barbeque our legs, causing us to think about our path decisions.
****converting Pure Water Sachets into Chewing Gum.
Though I have no idea why this was popular, chewing a pure water sachet mouth as though it were bubble gum became a kiddie fad. I even recall disputing with pals over whose chewing gum might stretch the farthest. These days I simply question why we were like this.
****Believing That Seeing a Plane Meant I Was Going to America
Looking up at an aircraft, I told my brothers, "If you wave at the plane, they can take you to America." We actually thought the pilot might pick you up if you waved strongly. Reality struck of course when I grew up and noticed that only getting a visa is more difficult than waving at a passing aircraft.