In the US, suicide takes twice as many lives than homicide. While in the UK, suicide is the biggest killer of males under 45. In 2014, the suicide rate in the United States was the highest recorded rate in 30 years. In addition to this, 350 million people suffer from depression according to the World Health Organisation. Females experience depression at roughly 2x’s the rate of men. Females attempt suicide 3x’s as often as males. With these facts in mind, I think that we can all agree that we have a problem. A big one. Maybe even much bigger than reported, if you consider that “Motor vehicle fatalities increase just after publicized suicide stories”. But let's not conjecture, the initial facts are damning enough.
Now that we've concluded that suicide and depression are a problem in our world, please allow me to explain one solution(not a silver bullet but it will work for many). The opposite of depression is happiness. Dr John A. Shindler once said “Happiness is simply a "state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant a good share of the time.”. With that quote in mind, if we think pleasant and positive thoughts more than we do distasteful and negative thoughts, we will begin to make our transition from depression to happiness.
This can be difficult to say the least depending on our current situation and environment. If we are depressed, the chances are(but certainly not always) that we are in a place in life that sucks and are constantly facing situations that make us think and feel bad. To overcome and rise above such situations we need to look into counteracting them by changing our habits. William James, considered by many to be the father of modern psychology said “Ninety-nine hundredths or, possibly, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousandths of our activity is purely automatic and habitual”. When we are depressed, we have reinforced the habits of thinking negatively, the good news is, we can change our habits and literally rewire our brain to be happier with ease. The key is knowing how, then slugging it out through the tough days with sheer persistence.
Gratitude. Grateful thoughts are pleasant thoughts. Grateful thoughts are positive thoughts. Gratitude has been scientifically proven to make people happier. We all have the capacity to be grateful. I'm not just talking about being thankful when somebody gives you something or does something for you. I'm talking about a deep, focused, consistent appreciation for all of the things that are good in your life. Gratitude is the only way I know to become positive on demand. Grateful thoughts are not just positive thoughts, they also shift your mindset from what you don't have to what you do have.
In my observations of people in the world I have come to see that some are 'naturally'(probably more to do with their social heredity and education than their genetics) wired this way, but most of us are not. Which isn't a surprise given the environments we have grown up in. We are bombarded by news through the tools we use to communicate and connect in the 21st Century. The news is all 99% negative(psychologically, bad news sells) and well, they need to make money. Same goes for many of the soap operas, films, music, gossip and so on. All negative for the most part.
So, if you find yourself having a down day, or are chronically depressed. I've got a potential solution. Well, people came up with the solution a long time ago, I've just modernized it by putting it into an app.
The app is Blessed, available for iOS today(FREE until 30th August). 'Blessed' helps you count your blessings. Every day. 'Blessings' being defined as things that you can be and are grateful for. Everyone reading this has many, like their eyes, their breath, phone/computer and many more. Not only this, Blessed helps you pair these with several reasons WHY you are grateful for them along with a picture that signifies the blessing. This helps you FEEL gratitude even more(gratitude/happiness is a feeling, so this part is key).
This can take 2, 5, 10, 20 minutes. It's completely up to you. It usually takes me around about 15(I have about 30 blessings). I do it as soon as I wake up, before I even get out of bed to ensure it's done. That's it. Simple as that. Now I know 20 minutes is a small fraction of a day, but you will have 'primed' yourself to be consistently positive and happier throughout the day. This post explains priming and how it works.
For some, that will be enough to help you become consistently happier. For many others, life hits us constantly and we slip into depressed states throughout the day. It may be every day, some days or just once in a while. When that happens, we have formed the habit of thinking of more and more reasons to be down and just sink deeper and deeper.
This the habit we are going to change. First let me explain how a habit work. A habit works in three parts.
Cue: The 'trigger' as it's sometimes referred to is the thing that makes you do something. For example, you may have a habit of checking Facebook for no other reason that being bored. The cue is being bored.
Routine: The routine is the activity you do to satisfy that cue. So in our example it would be checking Facebook.
Reward: The reward is the thing you are after, it is why you are doing it. In our Facebook example this would be seeing a funny video from a friend or a status about some personal news or gossip. These all produce emotional reactions which make us feel a certain way and sets us up to do it again the next time.
Now that we understand the way habits work, we can now use the same framework to create new one, rewire our brains and shift our psychological state to become consistently happier.
Cue: Every time you find yourself down, depressed, low, sad, stressed, annoyed.
Routine: Count Your Blessings. If you have an iOS device you can use our app 'Blessed', if you don't have an iOS device you can simple write/type out blessings to read each day(this is what I have been doing for the past few years). I use this template.
I FEEL so happy and grateful for X because they X and X and X. For example.
I FEEL so happy and grateful for my eyes because they allow me to see the beautiful things in the world, experience the joy of colour, watch TV and films, read books and signs and see my friends and family.
Reward: The reward is more happiness. This isn't just me telling you, it has been scientifically proven. Gratitude produces chemicals in your brain that produce the feeling of happiness like serotonin and dopamine. My previous article on 'priming' explains this further.
Do this every time you are feeling down and you will take steps to becoming consistently happier. At the very least it should stop you from spiralling into a depressive, anxious hole that you struggle to emerge from. For some it won't work on it's own, but it will help alongside any other help you require. If you need extra help please reach out and talk to your doctor or an organisation that can help. I recommend doing a Google search and finding a a way that is going to work best for you.
I want to close by stating that I am not talking to you as someone who has read some scientific articles and tried to provide a solution. I am talking to you as someone who up until forming this new habit found himself, on days.....many days, as one of those 350 million souls in a depressed state. I found a simple, effective way to not only cope but to develop a deep, meaningful appreciation of my life. No matter what state it is in.
I invite you to download the app(FREE until 30th August) and comment below with your thoughts and feedback. You can also find me on twitter using the handle @lurnanet or email hello@lurna.net.
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one - Bruce Lee
Thank you,
Wade James Braddick