I read an article recently that broke my heart for the men in this world.
It seems that almost weekly we hear of a school shooting in the United States. While the debate over whether to arm the teachers and aids that are in the schools is still going, this NY Times piece shows us clearly what part of the problem truly is.
There has been a fog around masculinity for some time now. You could put on your tin foil hat and say that the whole thing is being orchestrated, and I would not disagree with you entirely.
Yet, leaving the blame at the feet of those who seemingly run the world is not going to solve my daily decisions, nor yours.
We have a problem with men not knowing who they are in this age. Not all men, but many.
Even myself, who had the blessing of an excellent father struggled for a long time as to why I was so “messed up.”
I confessed for a long time that I thought like a woman. My mother called it a left brained man, and my girlfriend, now wife, called it a gift.
I see now that it is a gift. There is no hesitance in me to share my emotions or hide what it is that frustrates me.
So often we hear that little boys are not to cry, that strength and victory define a man. What happens when a young man hits the pavement or learns that pain is part of life?
Yes, pain, that time in our lives where we learn that no one is an island. There is no independent man, and there is no independent woman. We are, all of us, in need to know someone, and to be known by them.
How is a young man supposed to be known if he is not to feel pain? How is he to know what it is push through pain and win if he cannot acknowledge its presence?
There are a lot of hurting men right now and it is not because they are talking about it - it is because they are not talking about it.
We see the repercussions on the news and think those young men must be anomalies - I am here to tell you friend, they are not.
Unless a man has an outlet to share his frustration with the way things are, he will take out that desire for justice in unjust ways.
A man is made to uphold what is good and right in this world. He is wired to defend the defenseless and protect the ones he loves dearly.
When you read the back stories of the shooters, you find that protecting people in their lives is not what they do. Abuse of women is prominent in every case, and that lack of respect for beauty carries over into actions that destroy what is precious.
If we want to see less atrocities on our evening news or read one less headline on our social media feed, we must encounter one of the roots of the issue.
Yes, training and arming responsible adults to protect our children could be part of the solution.
However, even a bullet can not penetrate a soul. The soulishness that permeates every one of us longs for our voice to be heard and our talents to be noticed.
It is high time we stop turning a deaf ear to the screams that our young boys and men are cradling in their chests. We may not always want to listen to them, but one day it may be too late.