Getting married young seems to be a thing these days. Even the Internet shows us the benefits of getting married at a young age. There might be an advantage of settling down early but I am going to show you what I know. A couple of stories from my experiences that could be another insight if you're going to get married at a young age.
The media shows us married at young age seems to be a cool thing. We could be a young daddy/mommy with a cute child to show off around the social media( Youtube and Instagram). These days, it is also common for a baby to have their own Instagram account and sometimes they can earn just for being a cute adorable thing people love. I think in a way, it gives a sense of pride for the parents but hey, let me take you to another side of the coin.
I have couple of cousins and friends who got married at early twenty, have children and get divorced only two years after the baby was born. They were not ready and didn't really know that having a child means a huge responsibility. It was not something they signed up especially with the thought, they haven't see the whole world yet. And it was still an exciting activity they wish to do. Meanwhile, their friends are still having fun, they just stuck with a job and a children.
Well, I would not say I am a victim of such situation but I shared the complication of having parents who got married at early age in the name of so-called love. I sometimes think to myself , if people ever thought of responsibilities that might come being a parents and not only relying on love.
It was just yesterday I went to the bank to renew my personal data. I walked in to the customer service with less enthusiasm as I dealt with them previously and turned out to be a horrible experience.
Inside the office, I was greeted by a female officer who would help me. I sat down and explained my intention. It was all fine until she asked me for my ID card. She glanced at my picture and myself for a second, then proceed typing my name on her computer.I waited while tapping my shoes and a moment later, she told me that my last name was missing and considered as missmatch. I wonder if it is a bank procedure to verify someone by asking other personal questions.
The officer ,proceed asking me question ' What is your mother's name?'. It was a simple and instant question yet it took me couple of minutes to think. I simply forgot which mom's name I used to register myself. Then, I said my adoptive parent's name. Dissatisfied with my respond, she proceed asking my father's name. And again, the same thing happen. This is common mundane problem that I often face from time to time since, each of my parents expect me to have different bank account.
The only benefit I have is perhaps, I have the chance to craft my identity whichever I like. I can pick any side that benefits me most in a particular situation. There are another cases where confusion happens.
Another case
I have a nephew who call his grandparents as mom and dad. His parents were divorced while he was only one year old. His mom left him stranded and runaway with another man. My uncle and aunt then, taught the young boy to consider them as parents. I wonder what kind of family tree that he would draw, but I only expect someone have to tell him the truth since he's only 5 years old now.
Another case
Still relates to the first case, this time, it is my own step brother who considers our grandparents as father and mother. He never consider our mom as mom yet calls her a sister. He is quite a troublemaker and our mom could never get hold of him nor getting his respect. I can understand, cause well, our mom is one of a kind.
Not every person in my situation is willing to know the whole history. I was curious enough. And whenever I try to express my curiosity to my adoptive parents, they were only telling their side of story. I would never know what the real story. My whole searching taught me, truth is what I think it is.
My sister was adopted under an open-adoption. She knows, she was adopted since early age and has fewer issue than myself. Her legal documents were still under our biological parents name and life was not a lie for her. Only obviously the feeling of abandonment is there. Despite our parents are somewhat well-off and coming from educated background till today we are still wondering why. It is a feeling that my sister and I could barely get over as if we were unwanted.
Furthermore, according to an article published by CNN, an Adopted children at greater risk for mental health disorders is somewhat true. I personally never have to live in an orphanage but have already faced several complications. I think those who have lived there, will most likely have more problems than I do. Yet again, it depends on the family who adopted them. Mine happen to be somewhat OK.
Conclusion
In the end, ask yourself once again if you are sure to sign up for all the complication and responsibilities being a parents. The least thing I want to hear in next couple of years, is a story similar like this.