There is nothing more valuable than the privilege of freedom to do what you want to do and this anytime. It should be our lifelong goal, to reach peace of mind, independence, emancipation, liberation and redemption, urging for more flexibility accepting our differences, striving for more compassion and courage until the end of our lives and beyond. Absolute freedom and happiness might be possible and I am on a mission to prove it through intentionally changing habits.
Cocoon Photograph by Scott Sawyer
The grandmother of all plants showed me the purpose why my soul was put on this earth and how I can break out of a cocoon I built around me. I saw clearly how real freedom would feel, how it even looks like in a psychedelic vision. Golden strings of triangles and circles guided me into a bright loving blue light where our secret dreams can be fulfilled without limitation.
We deal with too much control left & right, rules and laws, some good, some bad. I broke some and I might be called arrogant, reckless, selfish and maybe even a criminal for some things I did (I will not get in details about this part yet). I was and always will be a rebel and fight against any kind injustice ( Dog in Chinese sign ). I believe nobody should be allowed to limit our purpose unless there is a good reason to do so.
Wale Idris (African Views) said : Let me expand the analogy of fish. If you can eat fish, not allowed to fish for no good reason, then someone is infringing on your freedom. However, if there is a good reason for not allowing you to fish, or puts a limit on how much fish you can catch...
So, I will share some random thoughts after introducing you to my FUCK IT list first, hoping you do yours as well. I can assure you of a wonderful relieved sensation when finished.
We have the right to fuck it all if we want to, at least in writing, in our free minds, as Andrea Balt on www.rebelsociety.com suggested in one of her courses. I made my list a while ago and Oh dear, there are a few too many on mine. I planned to send it off per email one by one but at the end I actually did not need to do so anymore. Read more here : Fuck it number 1: I don’t worry about how others perceive me
What Is the Fuck-It Bucket? Good question.
The Fuck-It Bucket is a rhyming mantra of magic that will revolutionize your world, if you let it.
Let it!
The Fuck-It Bucket is a tongue-in-cheek, heart-in-mouth philosophy of life that will improve your future, if you permit it.
Permit it!
The Fuck-It Bucket is a no nonsense, hilarity-promoting, adventure-assisting, stress-relieving framework that will enhance your existence, if you allow it.
Allow it!
The Fuck-It Bucket is the bastard child of Shit happens and Don’t worry, be happy.
Yes I agree, just as Andrea said about a new life philosophy: "I’m not sure what else to say about the Fuck-It Bucket, except that I can’t imagine my life without it."
This list helps me to let go of things holding me back to reach my ultimate potential.
Back to my friends Wale Idris quote I saw this morning on Facebook :
Freedom is not only the right but also the tenability of what you can do anywhere anytime.
What means Tenability?
Since I am not native english speaking, I am looking for new vocabulary to learn to understand my friends thoughts better.
Source : 1. capable of being held, maintained, or defended, as against attack or dispute:a tenable theory.2. capable of being occupied, possessed, held, or enjoyed, as under certain conditions
The following discussion was interesting of course. At first, I wanted to write my reply but I changed my mind quickly. Why would I even think of commenting on this platform who is cashing in on our content? It seems like a waste of my time when I can write a whole lot more and just plaster these arguments with my steemit link, my new fun because I am free to do so. Most of the time I am hesitant, limit myself and still hold back due to privacy issues I question. I don't trust social network much, I trust my pets more than human beings, wonder often why I used it so frequently. I have livelong, nearly obsessive trust issues in general not wanting to expose my true feelings and thoughts to strangers. I cannnot deal well with criticism and strive too much for approval, the perfection searching virgo in me, I guess. There might be the day my writing skills will be good enough that I let go of all insecurities.
Blockchain technology gives me more freedom or what do you think ? Doesn't it ?
What used to hold me back to feel free?
I lost my focus to nurture my liberal thoughts and free mind many times, instead I found my heart tight up, my hands and feet paralysed, incapable to follow my passions I once was so sure about. I cried a lot, cleansing my bruises and scares with those tears, deep cuts I could never heal ever, I thought but I kept on trying to forgive and move on. Allowing my sadness was the catalyser of creativity. My ambition manifested into a bi-polar character , "You are too much " I heard from a few. I would go to extremes finding myself exhausted and then, shortly after craving some long time-outs to gain strength again. I was unstoppable in my efforts to be successful and had nothing else in my mind than pleasure and financial security. I did not wish to have children, I did not even wish to be married. The thought of commitment scared me and the thought alone of wearing a white dress in church made me wanna puke. Black was the only "colour" I felt comfortable to wear.
I was flattered and attracted by talent, beauty, intellectuals, artists, musicians and dreamers, also weirdos, wished to be their muse and also sponsor. I could not imagine a life without surrounding myself with Art and interesting people. I would be bored otherwise.
"Forgive and never Forget " as many spiritual masters advice, did not work for the "stubborn me ". I wanted to forget all painful incidences damaging my healthy, innocent mind I once had. I was very young, too young to be robbed of my virginity and my inner child. Things got too serious and my days to come filled with fears. I was blind for a whole month being mentally as well as physically abused. My eyes burnt. I could not remember details for most of my life because I pushed this shocking moment far away. Yes, It sounds strange how is this possible but I cannot talk about this experience yet. It was brutal and one of the saddest times for an early teenage girl.
I sabotaged my happiness and my right for freedom subconsciously. The awesome times in my relationships never lasted longer than one decade before things got sour. Cheaters, liars or I simply never met the right one. I don't mean to say all was bad , not at all but it always ended before marriage. The more I started healing my mental damages the more I felt liberated.
I numbed myself with all kind of drugs in those wild days, not to escape but to face my devils of guilt.Why guilt? It was more like shame and at the same time I did not give a fuck ! This sounds like a twisted head and oh yes, my head was confused and on fire so I started hiding behind a colourful mask I painted myself. I would create religious rituals putting this mask on, ceremonies of joy to slip in different personalities. It was so important to get out of my own skin, to look at myself from another angle. I put my protection shield and would take it off when I was alone. Meanwhile I was waiting desperately for a moment to find somebody I could trust enough to show the real me. Only once, I felt a deep connection to a man but immaturity on both sides made it impossible for an illusionary soul connection to become reality.
Masks by my little sister Sophie Akkineni for Maskullery
I had many painful moments to deal with but I am proud where I find myself to this moment! I am walking on razors edge alone, it seems to be a pumpy road but a new and more fulfilling path.
I made many mistakes in the past and jeopardized this privilege of owing the right for my freedom. I finally realised that there is nothing more important than my life, except the life of my daughter. I finally figured it out that it is ok to be selfish because it feels so great to see yourself with a big smile, knowing that you are capable to loosen all chains you put on yourself. I allowed societies rules to limit my desires to be the woman I am proud of . Have you ever heard the word " woman crush "? I have secret crushes on so many admirable women more than men. You might think immediately that I could be lesbian but I am not. I am actually not so sure what I am because sexual preference is unimportant. Sex is not, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE still is!
Leave your, maybe self-built cage behind and fly away......Freedom is a precious gift to treasure.
I am in the process of braking my cocoon of an unsatisfying partnership, too many superficial friendships, overwhelming financial challenges, diverse cultures demanding my commitment, disappointing motherhood problems and critismn of my family I love more than they think. Life is ours to be guided into happiness we all deserve, nobody should be allowed to take our freedom of speech and choices. Anybody who wants to tie me up or down and stops my compassionate, caring heart for our planet, nature, all living beings and art should and will be avoided. I have hopes for humanity. As long as we wake up every morning , all is GOOD!
I enjoy Life so much because I always loved riding those Roller Coasters.
Tie me up - Tie me down - A comedy from the 90's by Pedro Almodovar
PLEASE, DO NOT HATE MY OR ANYBODY'S FREEDOM!
YOURS
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