Since I can remember I have always been a person who feels much. And I can sure say that for periods in my life, I have let my emotions rule me. I was completely caught up in my emotions and had no ability to separate them from myself. In that way, I surely have suffered a lot and looking back, it's easy to think that I have wasted so much time of my precious life. But it's no use dwelling on the past and regretting things.
More important, nowadays I have tools and knowledge on how to deal with challenging emotions and a strong will to live life to the fullest. I'm not saying I'm always succeeding or that I'm walking around in constant bliss. But I'm definitely finding myself more in a flow state, not getting so stuck in a particular mindstate as I used to.
In this post, I'm sharing how tantra has impacted my life in this regard.
Source: Pixabay, illustration by Alexandra Haynak
How tantra has helped me deal with strong emotions
I can't possibly express what a big impact tantra has had on my life since I discovered the tantric path about three years ago. For me, it will always be a 'before' and 'after'. Tantra is a spiritual practice that enabled me to really shift my reality. Tantra was the sole reason I stayed in Berlin, the course I found here completely absorbed me, and I was open and willing enough to make this strong commitment. I had reached a point where I had had enough of all the suffering. I discovered the joyfulness living inside of me, I could feel all the potential and I became eager to set myself free. The pull was so strong, it was my inner wisdom showing me a new way, a way where I could learn to fully embrace life.
Of course, tantra is a vast topic and there's so much I could write about how my practice has changed my life. For now, I'll focus on how tantra has helped me deal with my sadness.
I have often felt I carry so much sadness inside of me. Like an ocean of sadness. It felt like it was my 'normal' mental state. I don't have this feeling anymore. Nowadays I say a full 'YES' to life. And I do this regardless of what challenges I face. Tantra is all about saying 'yes' to life. It's a practice where whatever sensation, memory, feeling or reaction that arises is embraced. A result of living fully.
Tantra is a practice in presence. When we fully feel what is happening in the moment and if we manage to stay present, we neither suppress or let the emotions rule us. When we repress an emotion, it has a tendency to stagnate deep in our system. If we on the other end let the emotion rule us we are caught up in emotional drama.
In tantra, emotions are seen as flow states created by patterns of consciousness running through the body/mind. When we work with emotions as sacred expressions of our being, we can stay centered and expressive, the key to having emotional fluidity.
Of course, it's not always easy to stay present and separating ourselves from the emotion we are feeling. The challenge is also greater the stronger the emotion we are feeling. But with practice, we can build this ability. It's a practice of mindfulness.
Source: Pexels, picture by Couleur
An exercice - how to fully feel your emotions and move them through your body
As an example, next time you feel sadness rising inside of you, pause. (This exercise you can, of course, do with whatever emotion you are feeling).
Pay attention to this feeling. Fully feel it and relax into it.
Breathe.
Allow yourself to feel: 'I am sad'.
Then pay attention to any sensation you are feeling in your body. Where in your body can you feel your sadness and what sensations can you feel? This ability can take a while to build, again, practice is key. When we are able to feel the underlying sensations in our body and when we also are able to articulate them we get to the layer beneath the emotion. In this way, we can learn to feel our felt sense.
Speak the sensations out loud.
Can you also visualize this emotion inside of your body? Any shape or form? Any color? This works differently for different people. For some people, visualization comes easier than feeling the underlying sensations. Again, it's all a matter of practice.
Then see if it's possible to say 'I fully accept the sadness I'm feeling inside of my body right now'.
Breathe and let the emotion move through you. See what expression the emotion wants to take. Movement is key here. This might not come as natural in the beginning but go with whatever comes to you and trust that impulse. Maybe you want to dance, yell, cry, bounce, punch a pillow or throw a tantrum. The importance is to fully participate in your sadness, not from reactivity, but from a place of presence. This way the energy of sadness will move through you in a healthy way and make real emotional release possible.
We are wired for happiness
Of course, it's still a challenge sometimes for me to not get caught up in my own emotional drama. But with practice, I have learned to catch myself more often. And I then become present and can separate myself from my emotions. This creates space and I have also learned not to take everything so seriously. That includes myself 🙂I also try to think 'what can I learn from this, what can this experience teach me', and see challenges as an opportunity to grow.
I also wanted to end this post on a positive note.
Candice Pert, a scientist who has studied the relationship between mind body and emotions has discovered that as human beings, we are 'hard-wired for bliss', both physical and divine.
By hard-wired, she means that humans have major endorphin pathways that lead from the back of the brain to the frontal cortex, where we have the most opiate receptors: the cellular binding sites for endorphins. Source.
So let's remind ourselves that it's all there inside of us, the happiness, the bliss. It easily gets covered up by a lot of debris but at our core, we are all whole.
I felt inspired to write this post when I read about the emotional rescue challenge, this is my entry.
Thanks for reading 🙏
Love and blessings to you all 💚