Love is the most important word in the Spanish language - and the least understood. Many thinkers, both secular and religious, agree that love plays a central role in life. It is said that "love is a splendorous thing" and that "love makes the world go round". Thousands of books, songs and movies are peppered with this word. Numerous philosophical and theological systems give a prominent place to love. And the founder of the Christian faith wanted love to be one of the distinguishing characteristics of his followers. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:35
If we agree that the word love saturates human society, both historically and in the present, we must also agree that it is not a well understood word. We use it in thousands of ways. We say: «I LOVE the birds», and immediately: «I love my mother». We love objects, we love animals, we love nature, we love people, and we still love love itself!
If that confusion is not enough, we also use the word love to explain the behavior. "I did that because I loved her." That explanation is given for all kinds of actions. A man is entangled in an adulterous relationship and calls it "love." The preacher, on the other hand, calls it sin. The wife of an alcoholic bears all the consequences of her husband's latest scandal; she calls it "love," but the psychologist calls it co-dependency. The parents grant all the wishes of the child, calling him "love". But the family therapist calls it parental irresponsibility. How does love behave?
The need for love, however, is not simply a phenomenon of childhood. That need continues in adulthood and marriage. The experience of falling in love temporarily fills that need, but it is, inevitably, a "momentary solution," and as we will learn later, it has a limited and predictable time in life. When we descend from the top of the obsession of falling in love, the need for love resurfaces because it is part of our nature; It is at the center of our emotional desires. We need love before falling in love and we will need it while we live.
The need to feel loved by the spouse is at the center of marital desires. A man told me recently: "What's the use of the house, the cars, the beach and everything else if your wife does not love you?"