So! As many of you know, my country Venezuela is living a nightmare with this government. There’s has been a lot of publications worldwide about how miserable a person living in Venezuela can be and it is true.
I haven’t left this country yet cause I really had hope on a future here with my family because they are the only ones that are still here for me. (All my friends are spread around the world) it is really sad to be living this at 25 years old.
I was Hopping for my work to pay my bills but it is so damn difficult to made it here, I work with clothes, I have a brand that you can buy on the internet or in a mall here in my city, but like I expressed, things are not working, people work to survive, there’s no room for clothes here.
But that is not the main reason I’m leaving, I’m actually kindda scared of be writing this in my living room, but I feel like I need to speak up. I really feel the need of share my truth.
I was always shy, kindda the underdog and that is like the most normal thing a human being can experience, had a best friend since high school, always hungry for the adventures, I was having a pretty decent life until I was 22 and meet a boy.
his name was Mario and we meet on the internet. Start dating, I feel in love like I never did before him, he was literally what I was looking for in a partner until 8 months later i meet him.
8 months later he received a call from the doctor, on a regular test they find out Mario was HIV+… Wow! Can’t believe I’m saying this; he passed the condition to me obviously. I couldn’t believe my biggest fear came true, I was always very careful and paranoid with de diseases, I was aware of it all trust me.
It didn’t take me to long to decided continue my life with him, I was falling in love with him every day after knowing the true, I really felt we were unstoppable, immortals, and didn’t pay attention to the rest of the world until he passed away 5 months ago, on February 21’st, the same day we celebrate our anniversary and give each other gifts every month, the day of our love. (im dead serious)
According to him, he didn’t knew about his disease until the day he received the call I mentioned, I actually don’t know what to believe cause I find some details that indicates the opposite. Pretty sad details actually that I don’t feel ready to share, and I don’t wanna make this the most dramatic post on steemit, I really don’t. It’s just my history, what I’m going through everyday.
To be living with this condition here is scary, I have only 2 pills left and this week there are no pills in the public hospital, the only place you can received them. ( I can’t stop having the medicine, not even for one day, its dangerous). There are just a few that knows about this. I told my sister like 2 weeks ago, it was one of the most difficult things to do. I couldn’t hide it anymore. My mom and dad doesn’t know it, I don’t want them to know it, that’s why I decided to leave my home and look for peace, there are stings everywhere and I can’t get rid of them.
In this 5 months I have learnt to accept, to forgive, to not let my heart hide. I have screamed of sadness and joy, not at the same time of course. I feel blessed cause I find a strength that I really didn’t knew I had, and I’m going to take advantage of it, my heart is asking for the world, I can’t be here anymore. I feel like my life don’t deserved any of this bullshit, I really hope to find the golden days, I truly believe they are coming.
I am really sorry if I gave you and awkward moment, I want you guys to know that I still believed life is beautiful, I have smile everyday since that day, I have dance my way through life and I defenitely would like to stay here but this government is like the biggest villain of the worst terror movie with the most disgusting script. So many dreams and moments of the greatest thing in the world that is YOUTH are dying here. I’m going to use Ecuador as a platform to work and make money so I can be able to travel and stay in Chile. Im going to start from the bottom but i have a really great feeling.
I want to share with all of you the lyrics of a song I always play it has helped me a lot :
Yesterday I talked to God, we had a conversation, I asked him:
¿ why this life is a crazy combination?
The numbers, numbers, numbers we can't read.
Yeah, for sure I got some friends but we got complications
Most of us are happy with some medication
But I could, I could really use some wings.
He said:
¿how does it feel to be human?
'Cause some of the best plans I make get ruined, do people curse you and flowers ain't blooming.
¿How does it feel?
He said:
how does it feel to be human? If I could for one day I just might do it, dance 'til the sun comes up to my music.
¿How does it feel?
¿How's it feel?
¿How's it feel?
One Republic-Human.
My journey started and I’m not ashamed of my life, I really hope to inspire someone.
Ecuador! Here I go.
Life is Beautiful. Dont lose yourself, ONLY YOU CAN DESTROY YOUR BRAIN.