The Pain Behind *"It Is Well."*

Here I am once again, to talk, speak and to admonish us all. For a while now, I've been writing on the different happenings in our dear nation and how frustrating it is. Today, I'm not speaking about the government (might do so on the next one though), I will be speaking about us and our relationships with each other.

Our dear nation Nigeria, is one that can humble the proud, it is one where you get to learn things and most times, you get to learn them the hard way. Nigeria will shake you, test you, frustrate you, and humble you. I'm not painting my country bad, I'm just stating the obvious. And lately, I've been thinking a lot. Thinking about various things, thinking about people, thinking about the pains behind each and everyone's smile and the battle every one might be carrying behind their "it is well," Anthem.

I had an experience recently that I will say very little on. That experience made me brood more, before I'd think about those that are unemployed, divorced, sick, begging to eat and all, because it's all around us and it's what we see on a daily. But this is different, I mean talking about those who are working, doing well and thriving, have very good and steady income. I knew we all are going through things regardless of who we are, but that experience made me see and understand more that indeed we all are carrying something inside of us.

So, I've been talking with this lady for some weeks now, she even had to open a discord account because of me, cos I'm not always in Whatsapp this days, even though my data is always on, but then I don't get notifications on Whatsapp... I muted it intentionally, unless you call via voice call or video call, that's when I can know you need my attention there.

Back to this lady, we weren't that close, just got to know her via another friend of mine, and along the line we began to have deep conversations and I assured her that she can trust me with whatever. She felt reluctant from the first few days, but later...maybe unconsciously sha, we began to have very deep conversations... And what I got to know isn't in any way close to what I was expecting, she told me things, things that aren't convenient to share or trust another person with. And because trust matters and is what I value so much, I won't share it. But then, it changed how I see people.

Now, here's the main message of this piece, it's not about this person or what she's going through. The thing is, everyone is going through things, Nigeria is showing everyone shege in different ways, but beyond the bad system, failed leadership, hardship, poverty and all, life itself is dealing with us all... Life is really dealing with people, and I feel the need to pass this message across, and it is that "we need to soften things for each other."

You have your problems, I have mine too. But we can do better not because our life is easier or our own problems look less, but because kindness matters and it can go a long way in helping the other. There's something that I always say and it is "humanity before religion," same goes to this too, we all are humans first before we are any other thing. So, take tribe, religion, country, status, and whatever out of it because you're human first.

So, for the rest of today, this week, this month, and this year, do better. Don't be too quick to judge, don't assume for the other person, don't think they are ignoring you (they just might be facing life). I tell you this, and I'm saying it form experience. Some of those you know from afar off and you think they are doing very well than you would love to change situation, battles and status with you in an instant, but you wouldn't know because to you "they have it easier."

As you go about your day, try to keep a smile on your face, not because you are trying to pretend, not because you are having it easy, not because you've had it all figured out, but because your smile can heal/soften someone's troubled mind, also keep a smile on your face because you know that whatever is is you're facing won't overpower you, break you or make you feel less of who you are.

We all are fighting, facing, and carrying something.
So just… be kind.... "Pain is universal, kindness should be too."

🌹

Images are AI generated.

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