I couldn't talk my husband out of getting a new chainsaw a few months ago. He was obsessed with looking them up and I tried to reason with him we didn't need one. But no...he had to have one and envisioned himself Paul Bunyan clearing the land. The weather has been terrible and rainy but on rare days when the rain stopped my husband would disappear up the mountain and into the woods.

He's been disappearing up this hilly area above my raised beds along the driveway.

I haven't felt good since November. I've just felt more tired than normal and I get out of breath easily. My health hasn't been great so climbing that mountain to see what he's up to hasn't been something I've been able to do. I finally felt okay enough one day to make the climb up there because I was very curious where he was disappearing to and what he was doing.

He cut down the whole mountain!!

Okay, not the whole mountain but he's cleared almost the entire forest on our property. I was shocked because last time I was up there it was thick woods. Now, it's a big empty field covered in fallen trees and brush.

My husband and I want to have a large garden which the goal of producing enough food to last us through winter. With the land up on the hill cleared, we'll have the space to plant a big, big garden.

It was so different than the thick forest I am use to seeing that it took me a while to adjust and accept the change. I had no idea he'd go crazy and cut down everything. I love the idea of having a big garden up there but I also enjoyed the forest we had and the natural beauty of the land.

Last summer he cleared a raspberry patch

In the picture above the fenced in areas are raspberries he planted after he cleared a small patch last summer. The cats and wild animals were attracted to the new dirt and we feared they'd destroy the new plants so they got fenced in. I wasn't overly happy the way he planted things. He basically dug random holes in random spots. I was hoping he'd do it in rows to keep it nice and neat so we could have room for other things. The random raspberry fences also make it a bit more work to navigate that area because you have to weave in and out.

After I saw the destruction of the forest I had to make my husband promise I could help with the planning of our garden. He's terrible at being neat and tidy. I'm good at planning and designing. He definitely needs help making a garden that adheres to a grid with rows of plants.

Because of my health I've been struggling with my pet ducks a bit. They keep escaping to play in the nearby stream at the bottom of the mountain and I just can't go chasing them. I get out of breath so easily these days that climbing down the mountain after them makes me feel horrible. My husband and I have been talking about making them a pond of some sort on our newly cleared hill. They'd be safer on our fenced in property and a small pond would be kind of nice to have.

I remember a time when ponds were all the rage for home owners. My dad had one for a while with some goldfish in it and a small waterfall. With ducks I'm doing some research on how to make a pond for them that filters the water. Right now they have a kiddie pool I empty every day which is hard when I'm not feeling well and its cold out. It keeps cracking and I have to repair the cracks. It'd be nice to set up something more sustainable with a filter. The ponds I'm looking at you dig a hole, cover it with a rubber tarp, and fill it with water with a filter and some type of waterfall feature to help keep the water clean. Maybe put in some water plants to help keep it clean. This project won't happen for a while so I have plenty of time to research.

Though I was shocked to see our mountain and all its trees cut down I know it will help us expand our garden to produce more food in the future. I hope I start feeling better soon so I'm ready for planting season in spring.I've started taking antibiotics and they seem to be helping. For the first time since November I feel a bit more like my old self. I've got 10 days of antibiotics and if they don't fix me I could have something more serious wrong with me. I miss my garden and being outdoors. I miss being healthy. I've got my fingers crossed better days are ahead.